All House Party Achievements – Quick and Simple

FULLY UPDATED FOR MOST RECENT VERSION! This guide is simple to follow and shows you the quickest way to complete each achievement.

Important note

Hey everyone!

Thank you so much to everyone who has said nice things about this guide and everyone who has given it a thumbs up. It took a long time to write this guide and it means a lot to me to receive positive feedback!

A special thank you to everyone who has contributed with tips and tricks on how to get the achievements, as well as feedback on how to make the guide better. A big thank you also goes out to the translators who are currently in the process of making this guide available in more languages.

As of June 2019 this guide is no longer on my shelf of ongoing projects.

I have had tons of fun with House Party, but I have other games I want to play now. As the game is still in development, the dialogue and actions required to obtain certain achievements might change, but the guide will no longer be continuously updated to accommodate those changes. I might rewrite what needs to be rewritten once the developers declare themselves completely done with the game – only time will tell.

If more achievements are added to the game in the future I might write guides for those, but I won’t promise anything.

Once again, thank you so much for all your helpful feedback and kind words! Happy House Partying!

Intro

This guide will take you through the easiest, quickest way to get each achievement in House Party.

The guide will be updated as new achievements are added to the game.

Important note: While you will get an in-game “Achievement unlocked” prompt on the screen when you complete an achievement, a lot of the achievements won’t unlock in Steam while you’re in-game. I have to exit the game and reload the Steam achievements page for them to show up.

If the guide doesn’t work for you, please let me know and I will look into it. With new updates being added, some of the dialogue etc might change, so please give me a heads up if you find something!

Currently working on video guides for all the achievements, so stay tuned. If you make a video following the guide, I’d be happy to include it here, with proper credit of course. Let me know in the comments if that’s something you’re interested in. If anyone would be interested in making thumbnails for the videos, please contact me. IF YOU FIND THE VIDEOS HELPFUL, please subscribe to my channel so you’ll be notified whenever I post new ones.

Other languages are coming! Community members are currently working on translations of this guide. See the “Other languages” section to find a translation to your language.

First impressions

“Strip at the door, make your first impression to everyone in the nude”

This achievement requires you to strip at the door and make your first impression on everyone in the nude.

Achievement length: very short.

Start by starting a new game. As soon as the game starts, click [Y] to open the clothing menu and remove your clothing piece by piece. If you look down, you can admire yourself in all your glory.

Now all that’s left is to get a reaction from everyone at the party. You get their reaction by walking up to them (or being in their vicinity). Here’s a list of the guests to help you make sure you get everyone:

• Madison
• Ashley
• Amy
• Stephanie
• Katherine
• Rachael
• Brittney
• Frank
• Patrick
• Derek

Each character will have their own reaction to your nudity, some of which are actually quite funny. You’ll know you’ve made an impression on everyone once the achievement pops. Congratulations!

Note that your relationship with the characters will not be affected by this memorable first impression, so you can go on to complete literally any other achievement after this one, without having to start a new game.

Ice bath

“Get on the “s***-list” of every girl at the party”

This achievement requires you to be stupid, cheesy or rude to every girl at the party.

Achievement length: very short

Start by starting a new game. Click anywhere to make the pop-up go away. You can approach the girls in any order you like. Click each girl and choose [Talk], then select the dialogue options listed below. You’ll know you’ve made it on everybody’s s***-list when the achievement pops.

Note: This achievement does not include Vickie Vixen.

Ashley:
“Damn! I wish that I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice”
“See you later, Ashley!

Amy:
“I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“But that line was golden!”

Stephanie:
“What do you do for work, Steph?”
“That wounds unsanitary”
“You look like you’re having fun”
“Whip-its? Are you in third grade?”‘
“My bad”
“What the f*** is a “whip-it”?”
“Be honest, you just Peter North’d your intellectual load for the night, didn’t you?”

Kathrine:
“I like your glasses. They make you look smart!”
“I didn’t mean … Ah nevermind …”

Rachael:
“So what’s your sign?”
“We’ll pick this up later. I’ve gotta run”

Brittney:
“I don’t have a library card, but can I check you out anyway?”
“Ciao bella!”

Madison:
Now make sure you’re standing close to her, with your front facing towards her. Click [P] to bring out the equipment, and [1] to start using it. Madison will ask you to stop. Once you’re almost about to finish, click
“Catch you later, Mads”, then release your load all over her. Choose
“Whoops?” to end the interaction.

The achievement unlocks once you’ve managed to upset every girl. Congratulations!

Alternate path

Note: There is another slightly more time-consuming way to get on everybody’s s***-list; use [P] to bring out your equipment and [1] to start touching yourself. You’ll have to release your spray on every single girl in order for them to dislike you enough to put you on their s***-list. This might take a while, as you have to rest between your “battles”, and you might miss when aiming and have to attempt the same girl multiple times. An efficient way to avoid this is to keep them in a conversation so they can’t walk away from you.

Duck n’ weave – v

“Avoid Frank’s AND Derek’s fists for at least a minute.”

This achievement requires you to have both Frank and Derek chasing you around for a said amount of time (one minute).

Achievement length: very short.

The easiest way to get this achievement is to get Frank and Derek in the living room at the same time. The fastest way to achieve that is to keep restarting until Derek spawns in the living room.

Grab the tablet under the tv and make a run for it. Frank and Derek will both be upset with you and try to fight you. Now run outside and over to the fire pit. Get both guys quite close to you, then run over to the hot tub. Proceed to run around the hot tub. If the guys get too far apart and start coming at your from opposite sides of the hot tub, run back to the firepit and repeat the steps.

Alternate method: Open the doors to the liquor cabinet next to Frank. Then click the tablet under the tv and choose [Take]. Click out of the conversation with Derek as fast as you can. Run over to the liquor cabinet and pick up any bottle you like (I personally found the “Jack Daniels” to be the easiest to grab) and click out of Frank’s conversation as fast as you can.

The achievement will unlock once you’ve been chased for one minute. Congratulations!

Note: According to Erasmus himself, it’s not possible to have any locked doors in the game while trying to get this achievement. That means locking Frank and/or Derek in a room is not possible, and neither is locking yourself in. No easy way out of this one!

Note: Some players have found that they can get this achievement during the Vickie quest, when Derek and Patrick are both fighting Frank, because the game registers this as both of them being in a fight, even if they’re not chasing you. Erasmus is aware of this loophole and has said it will be fixed in a future patch, so if you want to take advantage of it, make sure to do it right away. If anyone tries this and finds that it doesn’t work anymore, please let me know.

Inspector

“Inspect at least 30 items in one play-through”

This achievement requires you to click on a bunch of objects and choose the [Inspect] option, which will cause a little bit of information to pop up on the screen.

Achievement length: very short

Note: I won’t be making a video guide for this achievement.

Here is a list of objects you can inspect right from the get-go, sorted by location:

DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM

• towel

KITCHEN

• salami (in refrigerator)
• eggs (in refrigerator)
• soda (in refrigerator)
• mayonnaise (in refrigerator)
• potatoes (in refrigerator)
• sweeties (in refrigerator)
• chocolate syrup (in refrigerator)
• chicken (in refrigerator)
• salmon (in refrigerator)
• chicken nuggets (in refrigerator)
• microwave
• spoon
• mug
• popcorn (in cupboard)
• faucet
• pizza box
• stove
• toaster
• kettle (in pantry)

LIVING ROOM

• computer
• printer
• credit card (in desk drawer)
• Carbernet (in cupboard)
• thermos (in cupboard)
• empty vodka bottle (in cupboard)
• Whack Spankiels (in cupboard)
• rum (in cupboard)
• coffee
• Natty Lite
• tablet

FAMILY ROOM

• left speaker
• right speaker
• mysterious key
• Natty Lite

GARAGE

• bathroom skeleton key
• cellphone jammer
• Natty Lite

OUTDOORS

• mound of dirt
• fire pit
• fast food bag

MASTER BEDROOM

• Natty Lite
• camera
• gastronomy book
• laxatives (in closet)
• gut grip (in master bathroom)
• Madison’s phone (in master bathroom)
• blue hair dye (in master bathroom)
• painkillers (in master bathroom)

LAUNDRY ROOM

• washer
• dryer
• Chardonnay (in utility closet)

UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

• Natty Lite

ART ROOM

• broom (in closet)

SPARE ROOM/ASHLEY’S ROOM

• pencil

OFFICE

• chocolate bar
• paper
• sd card
• laptop
• flask (in right-hand desk drawer)
• Natty Lite
• USB stick (in closet)
• router (in closet)

CHARACTERS

• Kathrine
• Frank
• Rachael
• Madison
• Ashley
• Stephanie
• Amy
• Derek
• Patrick
• Brittney
• Patrick

The achievement unlocks once you’ve inspected 30 things, so just keep going until it pops. Congratulations!

Social butterfly

“Meet all of the characters at the party in one playthrough”

This achievement requires you to meet every party-goer, including Vickie. That means you have to make Vickie come to the party, then interact with every character.

Achievement length: long.

Note: This achievement includes Vickie Vixen.

Note: I won’t be making a video guide for this achievement.

This achievement requires you to complete the achievement Newcomer: Vickie before you can complete it. Find a guide to Newcomer: Vickie by looking at the index to the right.

Once Vickie has arrived at the party, talk to everyone. You’ll probably have spoken to most of the guests already. Here is a list of them, to make it easier for you to know who you haven’t spoken to yet:

• Madison
• Ashley
• Amy
• Stephanie
• Katherine
• Rachael
• Brittney
• Frank
• Patrick
• Derek
• Vickie

The achievement will unlock once you have spoken to everyone. Congratulations!

Ashley – part 1

“Complete Ashley’s story and help her prank her sister.”

This achievement requires you to help Ashley get back at her sister by pulling a serious prank on Madison.

Achievement length: long.

The video guide below covers Ashley part 1-3 (the entire “Ashley” achievement).

Throughout this entire process, it’s important that you don’t talk to Madison or Ashley while they are within earshot of each other, as that can get you in big trouble.

Talk to Madison
“Thanks for inviting me to the party!”
“So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely.”

Go to the office and take the sheet of paper from the desk. Head into Ashley’s room and take the yellow pencil from the desk. Head to the master bathroom and pick up the phone from the counter. Then select the gastronomy book on the vanity in Madison’s room and choose [Use with …] [Paper] and then [Pencil] to uncover Madison’s safe combination (and measurements?). Head into Madison’s closet, open the safe and take her diary. Make sure Madison doesn’t see you while you’re doing this.

Head to the office and talk to Brittney, tell her
“Hey are you ok? There’s a party going on out there you know.”
“Are you kidding? That top looks great on you!”
“Anytime!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“You’re Madison’s sister? I never would have guessed. You’re way hotter than she is!”
“Ashley! So are you the co-host of this party?”
“Co-host it is.”
“Tell me about the guests of the evening, Ashley.”
“Tell me more about your friends.”
“Yeah, me and Derek go way back. He’s a great pal.”
“I hope we do just that.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“There was somebody you forgot to mention. What about Brittney?”
“I’m going to help her realize there’s nothing to worry about.”
“It starts with 4, I think.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“What’s the deal with you and Madison anyway?”
“I can see the resemblance between you and Madison.”
Click Ashley and give her [Madison’s phone].
“Maybe it is. What’s it to you?”
“I’m intrigued. Go on.”
“Count me in. What do you need me to do?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Give Ashley [Madison’s diary]. Tell her
“Hey, I told you I’d come through!”
“Um, okay.”

Find Madison and give her back her phone. Tell her
“So is there a reward for returning your phone? I feel like a kiss or something is in order.”
“Hells to the yes, Mads! I’m your guy! How do we get started?”
“Got it!”
Talk to Madison again, tell her
“Hey Ashley wants to talk to you.”
“No sweat!”
Follow her to wherever Ashley is. On the way there, be sure to pick up a Natty Lite from one of the following locations.

Where to find Natty Lites:

• In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
• In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
• When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
• In the office, under the desk (pres [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
• Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
• In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair.

Once the two sisters are in the same location, click Madison and choose [Throw beer on]. Tell her
“You can give it but not take it?”
Ashley will approach you, tell her
“Glad I could help!”
Talk to Ashley again, tell her
“So about that diary …”
“What are you thinking?”
“I already gave the phone back to Madison …”
“I’ll see what I can do.”

Talk to Madison, tell her
“I need to get your phone back from you.”
“Because I dropped it in the bathroom sink! I have to save it!”
“I’ll fix it, give it here!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“I got Madison’s phone back! What next?”
“Oh, hey Patrick.”
“*listen*”
“Yeah, we were just talking about post-modern film.”
“*listen*”
“Okay, see you soon.”

Talk to Madison, tell her Patrick is stealing her stuff. Madison will proceed to knock Patrick out, making Ashley free again. Make sure you pick up Patrick’s bottle of Merlot while he’s passed out.

Head to a secluded area (a bathroom will be the safest choice), open your inventory and find Madison’s phone. Click it and choose [Calendar], then [Contacts], and finally [Inspect] and then [Photos]. Next, find her diary in your inventory, click it and choose [Read]. Click
“*keep reading*”
“*shut diary*”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“Well it did get you out of that conversation …”
“A gold mine of nudie pics.”
“Here, take a look.”
“What’re you thinking?”
“Got it.”

Talk to Derek, tell him
“So say I got my hands on some naked photos of someone …”
“Who could really make use of them?”
“Definitely nefarious.”
“Where’s Vickie at?”
“Later Derek.”
If you ask Ashley about any of these people, it will soon be uncovered that our only option is Vickie, which means we have to get her to come to the party.

This guide continues in the paragraph “Ashley – part 2” below.

Ashley – part 2

This is a continuation of “Ashley – part ” above.

Find Rachael, click her and chosse [Talk], then click
“Nice to meet you Rachael!”
“So what’s up? Are you enjoying yourself at the party?”
“Let me talk to him. I can figure this misunderstanding out”
“No sweat!”

Approach Frank, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“I’m completely sober!”
“Come on Frank. Stealing from girls? This has gone way too far!”
“I could check it for you”
“I’ll do my best Frank!”

Now you have to find five alcoholic beverages to give Frank, to prove you’re a trustworthy guy (we have to give him six beverages, but we already have Patrick’s Merlot). The easiest solution is to collect the beers strewn about the house, in addition to the bottle of Chardonnay. Here are their locations:

– In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
– In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
– When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
– In the office, under the desk (pres [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
– Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
– In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair. Getting this one requires that you make Frank leave the room, so I’d suggest leaving this one alone for this particular achievement.
– The Chardonnay is on the top shelf in the utility closet in the laundry room

Once you’ve collected the beverages, approach Frank, click him and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. End the interaction by clicking “Just doing my part, Frank” or “I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”, depending on which alternative you’re given. Keep doing this until you’ve given him all six beverages.
After you’ve given Frank all six beverages, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“So how about letting me sniff that thermos for you now? I promise I’ll be a fair judge.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Approach the cabinet next to Frank and open the door on your right. The thermos is on the top shelf, furthest to the right. Frank will beat you up if you touch anything else, so be careful with your clicking. Click the thermos and choose [Smell]. A pop-up will inform you that the thermos reeks of alcohol.
Click Frank again and choose [Talk], then click
“Hey so I have that thermos a good sniff”
“It’s clean. It’s filled with water. She has a really rare medical condition called “thirst””
“::Whew:: Thanks Frank!”
Go back to the cabinet, click the thermos and choose [Take].

Find Rachael. Make sure she’s not in the same room as Frank, as he will overhear your conversation and beat you up. Click Rachael and choose [Talk], then click
“Frank doesn’t scare me. Have you seen my biceps?”
“Sounds like a plan!”
Click Rachael again and choose [Talk] once more, then click
“You look a little nervous. Is something wrong?”
“Trust me, I’ve heard it all. You can confide in me”
“Well, that sounds awesome. Your friend seems really cool”
“I’m interested to see too. I’ll be keeping an eye out!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“Hey do you think I could get your phone number so we can chat sometime?”

Next up, click Kathrine, choose [Talk] and click
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose”
“Do you know anything about hacking phones?”
“Let’s say I wanted to spoof a text message. How would I hypothetically go about that?”
“Well I wouldn’t want to use my phone either …”
“I know exactly what you’re going to say …”
“Patrick!”

Now we need to get our hands on Patrick’s phone. Click Patrick, choose [Talk] and click
“What can I do to help?”
“I’ll keep an eye out”
Head to the master bathroom, close the door behind you and find the painkillers on the shelf behind the door. Click Patrick again, choose [Give] and [Painkillers], then click
“See you around Patrick”
Click Patrick again, choosing [Talk], then click
“About that favor you owe me. can I use your cell phone for a minute?”
“F****** A. It’s always something. Ok. I’ll see if I can find out who has your phone”

Head upstairs to the office. Click Brittney and choose [Talk], then click
“Hey Patrick’s looking for his phone. You haven’t seen it, have you?”
“Um, he’s not mentally challenged. He’s just drunk”
“::sigh:: Fine”

Find Patrick again, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“Looks like you left your phone with Brittney, but she won’t give it to me”
“You’re the brah, Patrick”
Patrick will go upstairs to talk to Brittney, then come back to you afterwards. Now get the coffee mug from the living room end table. Head to the kitchen and open the pantry doors to reveal a kettle. Click [Ctrl] to bring out a virtual hand, then click and hold over the kettle to carry it with you. Place the kettle on one of the cooking top burners. Click the kettle, choose [Use with …] and [Coffee]. Then click the stove and choose [Turn on]. The kettle will whistle once it’s done. Click the kettle and choose [Use with …] and [Empty mug]. You can be a savage and leave the stove on, it doesn’t matter. At some point during all this Patrick will talk to you, tell him “Is it just me or is everybody around me insane?”

Once you have the coffee, find Patrick, click him and choose [Give] and [Hot coffee], then click
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”
Click Patrick again, choose [Talk], then click
“I guess I’ll just give this Irish coffee to somebody else then?”
“That was disturbingly easy …”
Click Patrick again, choose [Give] and [Hot coffee], then click
“Anytime Patrick!”
Now all you have to do is wait a few minutes while Patrick sobers up. You can move around in the meantime, Patrick will come and find you once he’s sober. Click
“Oops. Sorry Patrick”
Click him again, choose [Talk] and click
“Hey since you’re sober, do you think you can get your phone back from Brittney now?”
“Finally!”
Patrick will go to Brittney. You will overhear their conversation no matter where on the property you are. Patrick will come back to you and give you his phone. Click
“You got it, Patrick”

Approach Kathrine, click her and choose [Give], then [Patrick’s phone]. Click
“Score!”
Follow Kathrine to the office. She’ll talk to you, click
“Will do!”
Make sure Rachael isn’t in the office. We already have both Rachael and Vickie’s phone numbers, so talk to Kathrine and tell her
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Send it to 555-6969.”
“Send it from Rachel. 555-4242.”
“Hey come to Madison’s party and help liven things up?”
“Thanks!”

Vickie will spawn in the farthest left-hand corner of the garden (when exiting the sliding door).

This guide continues in the paragraph “Ashley – part 3” below.

Ashley – part 3

This is the continuation of “Ashley – part 2” above.

Go to Vickie (the farthest left-hand corner of the garden (when exiting the sliding door)). Talk to her and tell her
“I have something you might want.”
“Can I interest you in some nude pictures?”
“I, uh, not–”
Ashley comes to clarify. Click
“Yes, that’s what I meant!”
“Can you see if the woman in question could make it in the industry?”
“*listen*”
“Here, look at this phone.”
“Well …”
“We’re trying to be good friends!”
“So you think she’s got the stuff?”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“Absolutely!”
“Top secret, Vickie.”
“Bye, Vickie.”
“Derek!”‘
“The diary held more than just passwords. They’ve already hooked up once.”
“Alright, how will I know when you two are set?”
“And the signal is?”
“Wow, okay. Can do.”
“Break!”

Talk to Derek, tell him
“You and Madison? Anything ever happen there?”
“Derek, be straight with me. I know there’s more, gimme the deets bud.”
“The solution is simple: Make it un-awkward!”
“You gotta tell me what’s got you in such a funk. Usually, you would have dealt with this by now.”
“If you try to fix things with Madison, I promise to find out what happened with your brother’s meth situation.”
“Oh, one sec … *pull off shirt*”
“Let’s go, baby!”
“Anything for you, dude.”

Follow Derek outside to see what follows. Click
“*listen*”
“Later Derek.”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*stop listening*”
At this point you have to run to Madison’s room as fast as you can. Only one closet door will be open, so open the second one, go inside, close the conversation with Ashley and close both closet doors. An on-screen pop-up will tell you your character can hear Madison and Derek coming up the stairs. When madison and Derek enter the room, they will have a conversation. Click
“*listen*”
*”listen*”
“*listen*”
*”listen*”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
At this point you can see a little bit of Derek and Madison through the tiny space between the closet doors. Vickie will talk to you, tell her
“Shh!”
Ashley will talk to you, tell her
“I gotcha.”
While Derek and Madison are enjoying themselves, open one of the closet doors. Madison and Derek won’t notice you as long as you only open one door. After a while Vickie will talk, tell her
“Hell yeah!”
Ashley will also talk, tell her
“Keep your voices down!”
Vickie will respong, tell her
“Shouldn’t be too much longer …”
When Madison talks, click
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
Vickie will talk, tell her
“Get ready to laugh.”
Open the other closet door. Ashley will walk out and a conversation will ensue, click
“Derek, sorry, you were collateral damage dude.”
“Derek, you stallion!”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“Why not?!”
“*listen*”
“Patrick wasn’t part of the prank, I swear.”
“It was just a joke …”
“Fine! Damn.”
“I like the sound of that.”

At this point the achievement will unlock. Congratulations!

For some bonus content, follow Ashley to her bedroom. Tell her
“I think I can do that.”
Close the door. Crouch down in front of Ashley, click her and choose [Shoes off].
“I think it’s only fair if some of my clothes begin falling off too.”
“I think you’re onto something.”
Open the [Y] menu to take your clothes off. Click Ashley and choose [Approach]. Choose any alternative except the one about the moon. Tell her
“Here I come.”
Click Ashley and choose [F***].
You’ll hear a cellphone chime, click
“It’s Madison’s phone. A voicemail!”
“Hell yeah, let me get it out.”
Open your inventory, click Madison’s phone and choose [Voicemail]. Click
“*end message*”
“Oh baby!”
The screen will fade to black. When it lightens up again, click
“I’ll be sure to let you know, Ashley.”
You can now get it on with Ashley as many times as you like.

Smooth operator: Ashley – v

“Smooth talk your way to Ashley’s affection without completing her storyline.”

Find Madison and give her [Madison’s phone]. Tell her
“So is there a reward for returning your phone? I feel like maybe a kiss or something would be in order.”
“I don’t know about this. Tell me more …”
“Got it!”
At this point we need Ashley and Madison to be close to each other. An easy way to do this is to talk to Madison and tell her
“Hey Ashley wants to talk to you.”
“No sweat!”
That will make Madison go to wherever Ashley is and you can just follow her. Once the sisters are close to each other, click Madison and choose [Throw beer on]. Tell her
“You can give it but not take it?”
Ashley will tell you how much she liked that. Tell her
“Glad I could help!”
At this point Derek will approach you and tell you how impressed he is with your smooth talking of Ashley. Tell him
“I think you’re right.”
“I’ll keep you updated, dude.”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“I’d like to see your room.”
“Right behind you.”

Note: At this point the opportunity “Smooth Operator: Ashley” will be marked as complete, but in order to get the achievement, you’ll have to go a little further.

Follow Ashley to her room. Anyone already in the room will clear out automatically (thank you, devs).
When Ashley talks to you, tell her
“Nice couch!”
Close the door to the room, then sit down on the couch. Ashley will continue talking to you, tell her
“Yeah, join me!”
“What about the guitar?”
“And the whiteboard?”
“Are you serious?”
“Oddly enough, that story got me really horny.”
“Well …”
“Yes!”
Get up from the couch and use the [Y] menu to take off all your clothes. Then click Ashley and choose [F***].
Once you’re done, tell her
“I’ll be sure to let you know, Ashley.”

At this point the achievement will pop. Congratulations!

Drunk and disorderly: Ashley

“Get Ashley Drunk and get her to start some trouble!”

This achievement requires you to give Ashley a lot of alcoholic beverages and then instigate a fight between her and her sister.

Achievement length: short.

Start by starting a new game. You’ll need four Natty Lites to complete this achievement. You can pick up all of them right away, or pick them up one by one as you need them. Ashley does sometimes require a bit of a break between each time you can give her a beer, so I would suggest picking up one beer at a time, as that will keep you from having to stand around waiting.

Where to find Natty Lites:

• In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
• In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
• When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
• In the office, under the desk (press [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
• Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
• In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair.

Find Ashley, click her and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. In spite of making a comment about the drink potentially containing roofies, she still accepts it. Now click
“Ashley! So are you the co-host of this party?”
“Co-host it is.”
“See you later, Ashley!”

Click Ashley again and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. Click
“Frank didn’t get all the booze when he cleared the house. It’s about knowing where to look!”
“I’m really trying here. Maybe more booze will help.”

Click Ashley again, choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. Click
“Good-good? You like to blow down?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”

Click Ashley again, choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. click
“You should tell her how you feel. Clear the air”
“F***, I might as well see how this turns out”

Follow Ashley as she goes to find Madison. She will fall over and look as though she’s dead, but don’t worry, she’ll get back up. Ashley starts talking to Madison. Madison might walk away from her (far away), but it doesn’t matter. Click
“Ashley–”
“You’re about to get what you deserve, Madison!”
“*listen*”
“Let it all out. Right now!”
“Here it comes…”
At this point Derek shows up, trying to be a good guy. Click
“*listen*”
“Oh f***!”

The opportunity will be marked as completed at this point, but you have to wait a little while for the achievement. Ashley will approach Madison and they will start slapping each other. Once Ashley knocks Madison out, leaving Madison limp on the floor, the achievement will unlock. Congratulations!

Smooth operator: Madison – v

“Sweet talk your way to Madison’s special social ability.”

This achievement requires you to say and do all the right things to make Madison like you, without completing any other opportunities related to her. This will unlock Madison’s special social ability, which is to make any girl at the party take you off their s***-list (one time only).

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Thanks for letting me come!”
“Ah. So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely.”

Head to the office, talk to Brittney and tell her
“Hey are you ok? There’s a party going on out there you know.”
“Are you kidding? That top looks great on you!”
“Anytime!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“Oh look, here you are all by yourself again.”
“Ciao bella!”

Head to the master bathroom and pick up Madison’s phone from the sink.

Go back to Madison and give her [Madison’s phone], tell her
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”
Now we need to introduce ourselves to everyone at the party.

Go to Frank, tell him
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank.”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“See you later, Ashley!”

Go over to Kathrine, tell her
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine.”

Talk to Stephanie, tell her
“I’ll see you around, Stephanie.”

Find Patrick, tell him
“See you around, Patrick.”

Talk to Amy, tell her
“See you, Amy.”

Go to Derek, tell him
“Later Derek.”

Talk to Rachael, tell her
“We’ll pick this up later. I’ve gotta run.”

Once you’ve introduced yourself to everyone, Madison will approach you. Tell her
“Sky animal? What’s that?”
“I have so, so, so many questions.”
“Who taught you about sky animals?”
“So, what happened?”
“And did he teach you?”
What’s your sky animal?”
“I think I head Derek calling me. Talk to you later, Madison.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“What’s Frank’s problem?”
“Brittney won’t come out of the study.”
“Hey Ashley wants to talk to you.”
“No sweat!”
Follow Madison to wherever Ashley is. Once the two sisters are in the same place, situate yourself behind Ashley’s back and move the cursor until you get the [Ashley’s top] option. Click it and choose [Untie]. Click
“Whoops …”
Madison will approach you, tell her
“Hey, I do what I can!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“So about Madison’s sky animal …”
“Why’d you let her fall for his bulls***?”
“*listen*”
“Patrick, even you’re skeptical of all this?”
“Does he now?”
“Madison just wants to be unique, you know …”
“Let’s keep our voices down …”
“Oh, heh, hey Madison …”
“Wait, Madison!”
“We didn’t mean it!”
“What the f***?”
“What am I gonna say?”
“Take the deal, Pat.”
“Thanks, I guess.”

Head to the master bedroom, click the door and choose [Knock]. Click
“Come on Madison, let me come in.”
“Madison?”
“Here I come.”
Open the door and enter the bathroom. Talk to Madison, click
“*empathic response*”
“*direct response*”
“*confident response*”
“*sappy response*”
“*don’t be a d****”
“Yeah. Crazy. Definitely crazy.”

At this point the achievement will unlock. Congratulations!

To exit the conversation, click “Hey, that sounds pretty good! Thanks!”

How to use her ability: Talk to Madison, tell her
“I need you to help me boost a friendship.”
A list of everyone you’ve p***** off will appear, or you can choose to exit the window. Note that you can only use this ability one single time.

Drunk and disorderly: Madison – v

“Give Madison a few and see what happens when she takes on the persona of her favorite reality TV star”

This is another relatively quick achievement. All you have to do is make sure Madison has a steady supply of alcoholic beverages until she gets drunk enough to perform as her favorite reality star.

Start by starting a new game. Find Madison, talk to her and tell her
“Thanks for letting me come!”
“Ah. So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely”

Now we have to collect six beers. Where to find Natty Lites:

• In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
• In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
• When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
• In the office, under the desk (pres [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
• Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
• In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair.

Madison will need some time between each beer, so I would suggest going to get them one at a time, simply to save yourself from having to stand around waiting.

Once you have a beer, find Madison and give the beer to her. Make sure Frank doesn’t see you give her alcohol at any point during this run! Tell Madison
“I found them here.”
“I’ll see what I can do!”

Go find another beer, then find Madison and give it to her. If she tells you she’s still working on the last one, just wait a little while. Once she accepts it, tell her
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m still confused”
“Can do!”

Find another beer, then give it to Madison. Tell her
“Hey, I’m doing the work here!”
“Eh, at least someone will be having a good time” (it doesn’t actually matter which option you choose here, her response is the same either way)
“Madame Moonshine?”
“I’ll get more beers to keep the madame satisfied”

Goi find yet another beer and give it to Madison. Tell her
“You got it, Mads”

Find yourself another beer, give it to Madison. Tell her
“You’re talking like madame Moonshine again …”
“You haven’t been giving out those beers have you?”
“Might as well see where this goes …”

Find yet another beer and give it to Madison. Tell her
“Are you sure you’re not too drunk for this?”
“Alright, if you’re sure”

Now talk to Madison, tell her
“Where am I going?”
“Sounds good”

Now Madison is going to follow you around for a tour in which she talks to some of the girls at the party as if she were their madame. Just follow her around and watch. If you’re uncertain about where to go, Madison will tell you to see “my gal with the glasses, my gal with the breasts that drive the boys crazy, and the wiley redhead with the pretty mouth” (Kathrine, Brittney, and Rachael). You can approach the girls in any order. In spite of hardly being able to walk, Madison will run after you if you run somewhere. You can save yourself a bit of time that way.

Once you’ve gotten her commentary on each of these three girls, talk to her again. Now she wants you to look at “[the] only male on stock. The bald one who goes both ways” (Frank). Tell her
“Sounds good”
Go to Frank to get Madison’s commentary. Now Madison will tell you you’re going to “look at the worst of my stock. My sister …” (Ashley). Tell her
“Sounds good”
Madison will go to wherever Ashley is. Click
“*listen*”
“You may wanna take it easy, Ash”
“Madison, watch out!”
Madison will run into the glass sliding door, which Ashley has closed. Madison will, unsurprisingly, lose consciousness.

The opportunity will be marked as complete, and the achievement will unlock. Congratulations!

Stephanie

“Help Stephanie discover her true calling in life.”

This achievement requires you to help Stephanie find her hidden calling, which is to be a doctor.

Achievement length: medium.

Start by starting a new game.

To trigger the opportunity related to this achievement, situate yourself in the family room and wait for events to unfold. I like to sit on the couch, watching Stephanie dance. Sooner or later, Amy will walk in, fall down, and proclaim to the world that she stubbed her toe. Click
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*finish*”
An on-screen prompt will reveal your character’s thoughts to be “It sounds lie Stephanie is a bit of a doctor-in-training. Or a psychopath.” Click
“*finish*”

Talk to Stephanie, tell her
“So you like helping people, huh?”
“There’s got to be more to it than that.”
“I’ll see you around, Stephanie.”

Talk to Katherine, tell her
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose.”
“I notice you keep looking at your phone. Is everything ok?”
“Who would ever be a d*** to you, ever?”
“I could use a drink. Want me to grab you one?”
“Cool, I’ll see what I can do.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“What kind of drinks do you like?”
“Always a pleasure, Katherine.”

Talk to Frank, tell him
“So you’re just gonna sit here and guard all the alcohol, huh?”
“What do you think about Katherine?”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank.”

Talk to Katherine, tell her
“Frank’s guarding all of the alcohol.”
“I think Frank has a crush on you.”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine.”

Talk to Frank, tell him
“Hey I’ve been chatting it up with Katherine. Want me to put in a good word for you?”
“Sounds like a deal! I’m in!”

Talk to Katherine, tell her
“So Frank says I can grab some booze if I get a topless pic of you.”
“F*** me. Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

Head to the master bedroom and pick up the camera from the vanity. Then head to the office and pick up the SD card from the desk. Open your inventory, click the camera and choose [Use with …] and [SD card]. Now head to the garage and pick up the cell phone jammer sitting on the counter.

Now head back to Kathrine, open your inventory, find the cellphone jammer, click it and choose [Turn on]. Follow Kathrine around as she complains about the bad service. Eventually you will get her in a room alone, usually the art room or Ashley’s room. This might take some time because her path seems to be random. As soon as the two of you are alone in a room, open your inventory again, click the cellphone jammer and choose [Turn off].

Now we got Kathrine all to ourselves. Note that If you get interrupted by any of the other characters throughout the photoshoot, Kathrine will put her clothes back on and you have to start from scratch. The exception is if you are in a dialogue with her when they walk in – in that case you can simply wait to answer until the charather walks out again. Now talk to her and tell her
“So how about taking that topless pic for me now?”
“Hot damn!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“How about taking your top off?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“I don’t think this is what Frank meant when he said “topless”
Talk to her once more, tell her
“Let’s try a pose”
You can choose any pose you like, it doesn’t affect the outcome. Now open your inventory, click the camera and choose [Take photo]. You take photos by clicking the left mouse button. You only have to take one photo for Frank to be happy, but you can take as many as you like. Enjoy yourself. Once you’re done, click [Escape] to exit camera mode.

Go to Frank once again, click him and choose [Give] and [Camera]. Tell him
“Fair enough”
Head over to the cabinet next to him, open it and pick up the rum. It’s the Granadi 12 on the bottom shelf.

Now head to the master bedroom and take the laxatives (found on the right-hand shelf immediately after entering the closet). Open your inventory, click the bottle of rum and choose [Use with …] and [Laxatives]. To prepare for later, head outside, walk to the right around to the side of the house, and take the fast food bag from the ground.

Find Katherine and give her the tampered rum. Tell her
“Enjoy!”

At this point the opportunity called “Apply pressure” will be discovered. It simply informs us that we should create a non-lethal medical emergency, which is what we’re already in the process of doing.

After a little while Kathrine will place herself in Stephanie’s vicinity, and proceed to talk to whoever is around. Tell her
“You okay?”
Kathrine will run outside, to the left when exiting the door. Talk to her, tell her
“Uh, okay.”
“*This is gonna get ugly*”
Kathrine will run to the downstairs bathroom and the “Apply pressure” opportunity will be marked as complete.

Talk to Stephanie, tell her
“Katherine’s really sick and she needs your help!”
“Neither- she drank something that’s giving her the s***s!”
“Yeah!”

Stephanie will run to the bathroom and talk to Katherine through the door. Click
“*listen*”
“Give her a chance!”
“Hey, Amy’s here to help too.”
“We haven’t really talked about the drugs yet …”
“We can talk about all that later–focus!”
“Amy, why. Just why.”
“Steph, come back!”

The opportunity called “Meltdown” is now discovered, telling you to see if you can calm Stephanie down.

Find Stephanie in the art room. Tell her
“Chill out! I’ll go find something.”
Give her the fast food bag. Tell her
“That’s exactly why I’m here. Stop thinking about drugs and go help Kat!”
“That’s what I’m talking about!”

Follow Stephanie back downstairs. Click
“*listen*”
“Ouch.”
“Tell me what I can do to help.”
“It’s gonna be okay, Kathrine!”
“*End*”

Head to the master bathroom and take the gut grip (found tucked behind the wall next to the toilet).

Now talk to Frank, tell him
“I’m completely sober”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”

Make sure Patrick isn’t in the same area as Frank – Patrick should be upstairs or outside. Talk to Patrick, tell him
“What can I do to help?”
“I’ll keep an eye out”
Talk to him again, tell him
“You should watch out for Frank”
“How the hell do you even have a bottle of wine with Frank around?”
“I think I’ll pass on putting anything that’s been down your pants in my mouth. Thanks though”

Now talk to Frank, tell him
“Patrick’s got a bottle of wine! He’s been shoving it down his pants to hide it from you!”
“I’ll get the popcorn!”

As soon as Frank has left the room, head over to the cabinet and pick up the “Empty vodka bottle”. If it seems silly to you that Frank is guarding an empty bottle and you can’t ask him to give it to you for of a medical emergency involving a girl who’s breasticles he’s interested in, then that makes two of us (looking at you, devs). Head to the kitchen faucet, click it and choose [Use with …] and [Empty vodka bottle].

Head to the art room again, where Stephanie is hiding once more. Click her and choose [Take bag]. Click
“*smell inside the bag*”
“Stephanie! Stop this!”
“Let’s go.”

The screen fades to back, and once it lights up again, Katherine seems to be feeling better. Click
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
“*end*”

Talk to Stephanie, tell her
“That’s awesome to hear! Congrats!”
“Sure, I’ll let you know!”

An on-screen pop-up will tell you the achievement has been unlocked. Congratulations!

Once the achievement has unlocked, you can talk to Stephanie to get your private anatomy lesson. Tell her
“I’d like that private lesson now.”
“Follow me.”
Take her to the master bedroom, Ashley’s room, art room or either side of the garden (anywhere that doesn’t have people). Talk to her, tell her
“This is the spot. What’s lesson 1?”
“I would have to agree!”
“You know I do.”
“Show me what you got.”
While she’s going down on you, you can click her and choose [Panties off]. If you click her again, you can choose [Cowgirl] or [Doggy] to get more intimate. You now have infinite access to s** with Stephanie.

Drunk and disorderly: Stephanie – v

“See what Stephanie REALLY thinks about her boss by completing her DnD”

This achievement requires you to get Stephanie drunk so she will tell you about her boss.

Achievement length: medium.

Head to the family room, where Stephanie is dancing. Click her and choose [Talk], then click
“Nice to meet you Stephanie!”
“You look like you’re having fun.”
“Hmm. I’ll see what I can do. What’s in it for me though?”
and finally “I’ll see you around, Stephanie” to end the interaction. Go to the fridge in the kitchen, click it and choose [Open]. Click [Ctrl] to bring out your trusty right hand, and click and hold the left mouse button over the Golden Spuds organic potatoes. You can put them down anywhere. The whipped cream is behind the potatoes, click it and choose [Take]. Click the fridge and choose [Close], or be a savage and leave it open. Approach Stephanie again, choose [Give] and [Whipped cream]. Click her again, choose [Give] and [Chardonnay]. She needs another dose though …

Head over to Frank, click him and choose [Talk], then
“I’m completely sober!”
“I’m going to go drink some orange juice. Talk to you later Frank”

Find Patrick, click him and choose [Talk], click
“What can I do to help?” and
“I’ll keep an eye out”. Click Patrick again right away, choose [Talk} again and click
“You should watch out for Frank”
“How the hell do you even have a bottle of wine with Frank around?” and finally
“I think I’ll pass on putting anything that’s been down you pants in my muth. Thanks though” to end the interaction.

Find Frank again. Make sure Patrick isn’t in the same room as him – preferably he should be upstairs or outside. Click Frank and choose [Talk], then
“Patrick’s got a bottle of wine! He’s been shoving it down his pants to hide it from you!” and
“I’ll get the popcorn!” to end the interaction. Follow Frank and watch as he beats Patrick up (in what has to be the most awkward NPC fight of the decade, I love it). As soon as Frank leaves the area, pick up the Merlot (Patrick’s wine bottle).

Go back to Stephanie, click her and choose [Give], then [Merlot]. Click
“Maybe you should go a little easy … Ah nevermind” to end the interaction.

Now we’re going to turn the heat up. Approach the thermostat (next to the garage door), click it and choose [Tamper].

Approach Stephanie, choose [Talk] and click
“So what do you say you liven up this party even more and dance topless?”
and “I support this endeavor” to end the interaction. It doesn’t take much to convince this girl.

Now you can start giving her beer. You’ll need four beers to complete the achievement. Here is a list of locations where you can find Natty Lites:

• In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
• In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
• When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
• In the office, under the desk (press [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
• Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
• In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair.

Click her and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite], then click
“You wanna talk about it?”
“No prob!”

Click her again after a little while and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite], then click
“Tell me the worst part of working at Chubbies”
“He sounds like the worst”
“You got it!”

Click her again after a little while and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite], then click
“What are you talking about?”
“Well enjoy the drink and forget about your problems”

Click her again after a little while and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite], then click
“You should quit”
“What’re you gonna do?”

Stephanie will go over to Kathrine and take her phone. Then she’ll call her boss and tell him off. Then she’ll run out to the pool (with Stephanie’s phone in her hand). Once she makes it into the pool, she’ll lose consciousness. Not to worry though, she can be underwater for a very long time.

The achievement unlocks at this point. Congratulations!

Katherine

“Complete Kathrine’s story and help her get back at her boyfriend”

This achievement requires you to help Katherine get revenge on her a**hole boyfriend.

Achievement length: medium.

Start by starting a new game. Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose”
“I notice you keep looking at your phone. Is everything ok?”
“Who would ever be a d*** to you, ever?”
“I could use a drink. Want me to grab you one?”
“Cool, I’ll see what I can do”
Talk to Kathrine again, ask her
“What kind of drinks do you like?”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Now we know Kathrine will only accept rum … Which Frank has locked up in a cupboard … Convenient.

Talk to Frank, tell him
“So you’re just gonna sit here and guard all the alcohol, huh?”
“What do you think about Kathrine?”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”

Talk to Kathrine again, tell her
“I think Frank has a crush on you”
“Frank’s guarding all of the alcohol”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”

Now talk to Frank again, tell him
“Hey I’ve been chatting up with Kathrine. Want me to put in a good word for you?”
“Sounds like a deal! I’m in”

Talk to Kathrine once more, tell her
“So Frank says I can grab some booze if I get a topless pic of you”
“F*** me. Okay, I’ll see what I can do”

Let’s do some preparations for later. First, head to the garage and pick up the cell phone jammer from the counter. Go to the family room and pick up the Mysterious key from the mantle. Now go upstrais to Madison’s bedroom and take the camera from her vanity. Make sure she’s not in the room when you do this. Lastly, head to the office and pick up the SD card from the desk. Open you inventory with the I button, find the SD card, click it and choose [Use with …] [Camera].

Now head back to Kathrine, open your inventory, find the cellphone jammer, click it and choose [Turn on]. Follow Kathrine around as she complains about the bad service. Eventually you will get her in a room alone, usually the art room or Ashley’s room. This might take some time because her path seems to be random. As soon as the two of you are alone in a room, open your inventory again, click the cellphone jammer and choose [Turn off].

Now we got Kathrine all to ourselves. Note that If you get interrupted by any of the other characters throughout the photoshoot, Kathrine will put her clothes back on and you have to start from scratch. The exception is if you are in a dialogue with her when they walk in – in that case you can simply wait to answer until the charather walks out again. Now talk to her and tell her
“So how about taking that topless pic for me now?”
“Hot damn!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“How about taking your top off?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“I don’t think this is what Frank meant when he said “topless”
Talk to her once more, tell her
“Let’s try a pose”
You can choose any pose you like, it doesn’t affect the outcome. Now open your inventory, click the camera and choose [Take photo]. You take photos by clicking the left mouse button. You only have to take one photo for Frank to be happy, but you can take as many as you like. Enjoy yourself. Once you’re done, click [Escape] to exit camera mode.

Go to Frank once again, click him and choose [Give] and [Camera]. Tell him
“Fair enough”
Head over to the cabinet next to him, open it and pick up the rum. It’s the Granadi 12 on the bottom shelf.

Head back to Kathrine (she’ll be wherever you left her, she doesn’t move once she has a signal) and give her the rum. Tell her
“Wow, talk about direct …”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how can I ensure a 100 percent chance of getting in your pants?”
“Hmm. Humiliate myself, or turn down sex? I guess I have no choice. I’ll so it!”

Now we have to flash everyone at the party. Click [P] to expose yourself, then make your way around the house to get a response from all the characters. Here’s a list to help you know who you’re looking for:

Madison
Ashley
Amy
Stephanie
Kathrine
Rachel
Brittney
Frank
Patrick
Derek

Once you’re done, return to Kathrine. Talk to her and tell her
“I did it! I flashed every single person here!”
“Well if it’s any concolation, I think I’ll remember this experience for the rest of my life”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So hey, wanna go somewhere more private?”
“I heard “sex”, but not much else after that. Let’s go!”

Kathrine will head to the master bedroom now and lay on the bed. Note that if any other characters are already on the bed, she will lie down next to them, which can make for some fun screenshots. For this next part we want the bedroom to ourselves though, so as soon as you’re alone, close and lock the door. You can lock the door from both sides, so make sure to lock it anytime you enter, and lock it anytime you leave (what girl doesn’t enjoy being locked in). Talk to Kathrine again, tell her
“I’ll see what I can muster up”
Now we have to find her something to play with. Now, there is a vibrator in Madison’s closet and a double-headed toy under Ashley’s pillow, but she doesn’t want either of these. Instead, head to the kitchen, open the refrigerator, and take the salami. Head back to Kathrine and give her the salami. Tell her
“You sure I can’t stay and watch?”
“F***, okay”
She’ll take her clothes off as soon as we leave the room (we don’t even have to close the door behind us, she’ll do it anyway. Close and lock the door though, to keep people out). Now we have to get her a bottle of water. The bottle we need is in Frank’s cabinet and he’ll get mad if we take it while he sees it.

Find Patrick, talk to him and tell him
“What can I do to help?”
“I’ll keep an eye out”
Talk to him again, tell him
“You should watch out for Frank”
“How the hell do you even have a bottle of wine with Frank around?”
“I think I’ll pass on putting anything that’s been down your pants in my mouth. Thanks though”

Go to Frank, tell him
“Patrick’s got a bottle of wine! He’s been shoving it down his pants to hide it from you!”
“I’ll get the popcorn!”
As soon as Frank has left the room you can grab the empty vodka bottle from the cabinet. Head to the kitchen, click the faucet and choose [Use with …] and [Empty vodka bottle].

Head back to Kathrine and give her the bottle of water. Tell her
“It’s about f***ing … I mean uh. Great!”
Use the [Y] menu to take your clothes off. Kathrine will comment, tell her
“Finally, somebody’s happy I pulled my d*** out!”
Now you can click Kathrine and choose [F***].
If you talk to her during the act you can tell her to switch positions. Once you’re done, Kathrine will tell you some rather strange news. Tell her
“You may have a problem, but doesn’t matter, had s**”

The achievement should unlock at this point, congratulations!

Rachael – part 1 – v

“Complete Rachael’s story and win her affection”

This achievement requires you to go through a series of dare events with Rachael.

Achievement length: long.

Start by starting a new game. Find Rachael, click her and chosse [Talk], then click
“Nice to meet you Rachael!”
“So what’s up? Are you enjoying yourself at the party?”
“Let me talk to him. I can figure this misunderstanding out”
“No sweat!”

Approach Frank, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“I’m completely sober!”
“Come on Frank. Stealing from girls? This has gone way too far!”
“I could check it for you”
“I’ll do my best Frank!”

Now you have to find six alcoholic beverages to give Frank, to prove you’re a trustworthy guy. The easiest solution is to collect the beers strewn about the house. Here are their locations:

– In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker
– In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
– When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
– In the office, under the desk (pres [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
– Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
– In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair. Getting this one requires that you make Frank leave the room, so I’d suggest leaving this one alone for this particular achievement.

Once you’ve collected six alcoholic beverages, approach Frank, click him and choose [Give] and [Natty Lite]. End the interaction by clicking “Just doing my part, Frank” or “I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”, depending on which alternative you’re given. Keep doing this until you’ve given him all six beverages.
After you’ve given Frank all six beverages, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“So how about letting me sniff that thermos for you now? I promise I’ll be a fair judge.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Approach the cabinet next to Frank and open the door on your right. The thermos is on the top shelf, furthest to the right. Frank will beat you up if you touch anything else, so be careful with your clicking. Click the thermos and choose [Smell]. A pop-up will inform you that the thermos reeks of alcohol.
Click Frank again and choose [Talk], then click
“Hey so I have that thermos a good sniff”
“It’s clean. It’s filled with water. She has a really rare medical condition called “thirst””
“::Whew:: Thanks Frank!”
Go back to the cabinet, click the thermos and choose [Take].

Find Rachael. Make sure she’s not in the same room as Frank, give her the thermos and tell her
“Frank doesn’t scare me. Have you seen my biceps?”
“Sounds like a plan!”
At this point you might get Rachael’s dialogue about slapping Patrick, tell her “It’s cool, but hwy’d you get all Jerry Springer on him?”
“Nope and nope.”
“Sure, good luck with that.”
Click Rachael again and choose [Talk] once more, then click
“You look a little nervous. Is something wrong?”
“Trust me, I’ve heard it all. You can confide in me”
“Well, that sounds awesome. Your friend seems really cool”
“I’m interested to see too. I’ll be keeping an eye out!”

Next up, click Kathrine, choose [Talk] and click
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose”
“Do you know anything about hacking phones?”
“Let’s say I wanted to spoof a text message. How would I hypothetically go about that?”
“Well I wouldn’t want to use my phone either …”
“I know exactly what you’re going to say …”
“Patrick!”

Now we need to get our hands on Patrick’s phone. Click Patrick, choose [Talk] and click
“You got the s*** slapped out of you! What was that about?”
“Hmm … Maybe I could help you out.”
“You’re wrong on all counts. But I’ll help you.”
“What’s the problem with you two?”

Head to the master bathroom, close the door behind you and find the painkillers on the shelf behind the door. Click Patrick again, choose [Give] and [Painkillers], then click
“See you around Patrick”
Click Patrick again, choosing [Talk], then click
“About that favor you owe me. can I use your cell phone for a minute?”
“F****** A. It’s always something. Ok. I’ll see if I can find out who has your phone”

Head upstairs to the office. Click Brittney and choose [Talk], then click
“Hey are you ok? There’s a party going on out there you know”
“Are you kidding? That top looks great on you!”
“Anytime”
Talk to her again, click
“Hey Patrick’s looking for his phone. You haven’t seen it, have you?”
“Um, he’s not mentally challenged. He’s just drunk”
“::sigh:: Fine”

Find Patrick again, click him and choose [Talk], then click
“Looks like you left your phone with Brittney, but she won’t give it to me”
“You’re the brah, Patrick”
Patrick will go upstairs to talk to Brittney. To save some time you can follow him upstairs – that way you won’t have to wait an eternity for him to return to you. You’ll overhear their conversation regardless of were on the property you are. Patrick will approach you once he’s done talking to Brittney. Click
“Is it just me or is everybody around me insane?”

Now make sure Patrick is either upstairs or outdoors. Click him, choose [Talk] and click
“You should watch out for Frank”
“How the hell do you even have a bottle of wine with Frank around?”
“I think I’ll pass on putting anything that’s been down your pants in my mouth. Thanks though”
Now you have to click Frank, choose [Talk] and and click
“Patrick’s got a bottle of wine. He’s been hiding it in his pants!”
Frank will proceed to beat up Patrick. His first punch will make Patrick drop his wine bottle. Watch carefully to see where the bottle falls (sometimes it can be hard to spot, especially outside in the grass). Once Patrick has been beaten beyond consciousness and Frank has left the area, pick up the wine bottle. If you’re unable to pick up the wine bottle on your first try, simple wait until Patrick comes to, then click Frank, choose [Talk] and click
“Patrick called you an a**-licking fart monkey!”
This will make Frank beat up Patrick again. You can keep repeating this for as long as you need to/for as long as you find it entertaining.

While Patrick is sleeping it off, get the coffee mug from the living room end table. Head to the kitchen and open the pantry doors to reveal a kettle. Click [Ctrl] to bring out a virtual hand, then click and hold over the kettle to carry it with you. Place the kettle on one of the cooking top burners. Click the kettle, choose [Use with …] and [Coffee]. Then click the stove and choose [Turn on]. The kettle will whistle once it’s done. Click the kettle and choose [Use with …] and [Empty mug]. You can be a savage and leave the stove on, it doesn’t matter.

Find Patrick, click him and choose [Give] and [Hot coffee], then click
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”
Click Patrick again, choose [Talk], then click
“I guess I’ll just give this Irish coffee to somebody else then?”
“That was disturbingly easy …”
Click Patrick again, choose [Give] and [Hot coffee], then click
“Anytime Patrick!”
Now all you have to do is wait a few minutes while Patrick sobers up. You can move around in the meantime, Patrick will come and find you once he’s sober. Click
“Oops. Sorry Patrick”
Click him again, choose [Talk] and click
“Hey since you’re sober, do you think you can get your phone back from Brittney now?”
“Finally!”
Patrick will go to Brittney. You will overhear their conversation no matter where on the property you are. Patrick will come back to you and give you his phone. Click
“You got it, Patrick”

The guide continues in the section “Rachael – part 2” below.

Rachael – part 2

This is the continuation of “Rachael – part 1” above.

Approach Kathrine, click her and choose [Give], then [Patrick’s phone]. Click
“Score!”
Follow Kathrine to the office. She’ll talk to you, click
“Will do!”

Now all we’re missing are the phone numbers we want to text. Getting Rachael’s number is easy at this point. You’ve been nice to her, so you can just click her, choose [Talk], then click
“Hey do you think I could get your phone number so we can chat sometime?”
“We’ll pick this up later. I’ve gotta run”
Getting Vickie’s number is a little more tricky. Go to the master bathroom and pick up Madison’s phone from the bathroom counter. Find Madison, click her and choose [Give] and [Madison’s phone]. Then click
“You wouldn’t happen to have Vickie Vixen’s phone number would you?”
“I’m your guy. What do you need me to do?”
“Seems easy enough”
Madison wants us to untie Ashley’s top. Ashley will be furious with us, but it’s the fastest way to get Vickie’s number. Wait until Madison and Ashley are in the same room. Madison will usually walk to wherever Ashley is as soon as this interaction is over.

Once Ashley and Madison are in the same room, approach Ashley from behind and move your coursor around her back to get the option “Ashley’s top”. Click it and choose [Untie]. Ashley will get mad and Madison will be happy. Click Madison, chose [Talk] and click
“So could I get Vickie’s phone number now?”
“I’ll check you later Mads”

Important note: If you still need to complete the achievements related to Vickie (Newcomer: Vickie, Vickie and Social Butterfly), save your game now.That way you will save yourself from having to do everything up until now again.

It doesn’t matter if Brittney is in the office for this next part. Make sure Rachael can’t hear you.

Click Kathrine (who is in the office), choose [Talk] and click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Send it to Rachael. 555-4242”
“Send it from Vickie Vixen. Her number is 555-6969”
“Dare you to tell the cutest guy at the party you had a wet dream about him last night”
“You got it”
Go find Rachael to save yourself some time (otherwise she will have to come find you, which could take some time). If you go to Rachael you will see and hear her receive a text. You will overhear her reaction regardless of where on the property you are. Click “(Continue)”. Rachel will approach you and tell you she had a wet dream about you last night, which is actually really hilarous, seeing as you met her today.

Approach Kathrine again, click her and choose [Talk], then click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to say it’s hot and change into your bikini top”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
You don’t actually have to watch Rachael for this one, but you can if you want to. Her dialogue will pop up regardless, click “(Continue)”.

Click Kathrine again and choose [Talk]. She will tell you the internet is down. Click
“For you and me both. I’ll figure something out …”.
Open the closet doors in the office. The router is on the top shelf. Click it and choose [Turn off], then click it again and choose [Turn on]. Kathrine will tell you the internet is back on. Now click Kathrine once more, choose [Talk] and click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to flash your ♥♥♥♥ to the cutest guy at the party”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Rachael will come find you. You can save yourself a lot of time by going to wherever she is. Once again you hear her reaction and have to click “(Continue)”. When Rachael talks to you, click
“Sure thing”
It’s important that you stay very close to her at this point, otherwise she won’t flash you and you can’t carry on with the opportunity. When she talks to you, click
“Wait, how does your friend know about me?”
“Sweet! Be sure to thank Vickie for me”
“I like the “for now” part”

Now we’re going to – yes, you guessed it – approach Kathrine, click her and choose [Talk], then click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to lose your pants for the rest of the party”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Once again you’ll hear Rachael’s reaction and click “(Continue)”. This is another one you don’t have to watch, but you can if you want to (Rachael won’t find it suspicious that you’re always around when she’s taking her clothes off).

Click Kathrine again, choose [Talk] and click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to find somewhere private, then strip naked and m*********”
“Always a pleasure Kathrine”
If you want to watch this, you have to go into the art room next to the office, open the closet doors, go inside, and close the closet doors again, all before Rachael comes into the room.

Once again we’re going to click Kathrine, choose [Talk] and click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to get completely naked for the cutest guy at the party for 30 seconds”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
You can save yourself some time by going to wherever Rachael is, as she will approach you. Click
“Sure thing!”
“Well I mean, if it’ll help you win your bet. I suppose I can do that for you …”
“Can’t wait!”
“I like the “for now” part”

Now we need to pick up an item we need later. Head into the family room (where Stephanie is dancing) and pick up the “Mysterious key” from the mantle.

We won’t succeed with the last part of the dare unless Rachael likes us a little bit. Talk to her, tell her
“How do you know Madison?”
I find it hard
This is a vide

Once again we’re going to click Kathrine, choose [Talk] and click
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Dare you to f*** the cutest guy at the party”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Rachael will approach you once again. Click
“Sounds intriguing. Let’s go!”
Follow her to the master bedroom, close the door behind you and lock it. Click her, choose [Talk] and she will take her bikini off. Click [Y] to open the clothing menu, then take off your shoes, shirt, pants and underwear (well, you can actually leave your shirt and shoes on, but that’s weird). Now you can click Rachael and choose [F***]. Once you get started, you can click her and choose [Talk] to change positions.

The achievement unlocks once you’re done. Congratulations!

Amy: Scavenger hunt

“Complete Amy’s scavenger hunt path”

This achievement is so extensive that it requires its own guide. You’ll find a video guide there as well.

Amy

“Complete Amy’s story and win her affection”

This achievement starts out the same way as the scavenger hunt, but then takes a turn, allowing you to get intimate with Amy.

Start by starting a new game. Follow the steps in this guide up until the beginning of the section called “Item 5: A little bit of convincing”.

Talk to Amy, click
“Let me have a crack at one of those scavenger hunt items.”
This time, instead of telling you to find something, she tells you she has some doubts about whether or not to go through with the scavenger hunt. Click
“Keep your dignity. F*** the sorority. You’ll regret it if you give in to them!”
“The feeling is mutual!”
Talk to Amy again, click
“So what are you going to do now that you’ve decided against the sorority?”
“Yeah sure, that sounds great! I’d love to join you!”

Now inspect the microwave in the kitchen. You find out it’s broken. Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“Do you know why the microwave isn’t working?”
“Thanks kitty kat!”
“Message received.”

Head to the upstairs office. Take the chocolate bar from the shelf on your left when entering the office. Head back downstairs and approach the cupboars above the microwave. Click the purple mug (the one that is upside down on top of a stack of plates) and take it. Open your inventory with, find the mug and click [Use with …] and [Chocolate bar]. Head to the kitchen faucet, click it and choose [Use with …] and [Chocolate in mug]. Now wait until Kathrine approaches you to tell you the microwave is working again. Tell her
“Uhhh … Thanks! So is it working now?”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine.”

Click the microwave, choose [Use with …] and [Chocolate & water in mug]. Wait for the microwave to beep, indicating it’s done. Then click it and choose [Open] to add the hot chocolate to your inventory.

Head to the fire pit outside, where Amy is sitting. Click her, choose [Give] and [Hot chocolate]. When she talks to you, tell her
“You’re very welcome.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“This is really relaxing!”
“I try to seek out the company of interesting people like you.”
“I just want to get to know you better.”
“It’s not about where you are, it’s about who you are.”
“See you, Amy.”

If your friendship meter and relationship meter with Amy are already maxed out, you can go straight again with the conversation in the paragraph below. If they’re not, talk to Derek and tell him
“What’s Amy’s deal? She’s kinda cute.”
“Later Derek.”
Talk to Amy again, tell her
“That song that’s playing reminds me of this one Panic at the disco song …”
“To be honest, they’re good, but not my favorite.”

Talk to Amy again, tell her
“What do you say we seek out a more secluded area …”
“It’s been nothing short of a total pleasure meeting you!”
“Lead the way!”

The achievement will unlock at this point. Congratulations! There is still more to enjoy though, if you want to …

Amy will walk up to Ashley’s room. Now, depending on what you did earlier, Ashley might still be in the room, naked. If she is, Amy won’t want to go any further with you yet, so you’ll have to wash Ashley’s clothes and return them to her so she’ll leave. Alternately, you could give her a soda full of laxatives, that will also get her out. Just make sure she has an unlocked bathroom to hide in.

When you’re alone in the room with Amy, talk to her. The following interaction is a little broken (looking at you, devs), but tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
“Could you stand up for me please?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
“can I get a peek of those ♥♥♥♥?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
“Could you take your pants off for me?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
“Could I see what’s beneath those panties?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So how about you and I have a little fun?”
“I can’t wait any longer. I have to f*** you.”
If you want to change positions, just talk to Amy.

If someone walks in during your conversation with Amy, she will tell you she wants to go somewhere more private. Just wait for whoever is in the room to leave, then continue.

Once you’re done, tell Amy
“Glad I could make a good first impression!”

A pop-up will tell you the achievement has unlocked. Congratulations!

Newcomer: Vickie – v

“Get Vickie Vixen to show up at the party”

This is a rather time-consuming achievement. We have to make Vickie think Rachael has asked her to come to the party.

This achievement is great to stack with “Social butterfly” and “Vickie”.

Start a new game. Follow the “Rachael – part 1” and “Rachael – part 2” section in this guide up until the paragraph starting with “Important note” in bold. Once you’re there, return to this part and continue below. The exception is of course if you already played the Rachael path and saved at the “Important note” mark, in which case you can just load that savefile and jump right in:

Go to the office. Make sure Rachael is never in the office while you talk to Kathrine. Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“Can you send a spoofed text message for me?”
“Send it to 555-6969”
“Send it from Rachel”
“Hey come to Madison’s party and help liven things up?”

Vickie will spawn in the farthest left-hand corner of the garden (when exiting the sliding door). The achievement will unlock once she spawns in. Congratulations!

Vickie – part 1 – v

“Complete Vickie’s story for a “hot” ending”

This achievement requires you to have intimate relations with Vickie Vixen.

Achievement length: long.

First we have to make Vickie come to the party. To figure out how to do that, see the section called “Newcomer: Vickie” in the index to the right. Come back here once Vickie has come to your party.

Talk to Vickie, tell her
“You must be Vickie Vixen! I’ve heard a lot about you!”
“Rachael told me you’re a lot of fun!”
“There are a lot of ‘good girls’ here that need to let their guards down.”
“Did I mention I love you?”
“Got it!”

Talk to Vickie, tell her
“Ok, I’m ready! I made a few friends!”
“Maybe I could practice on you first? You know … For science.”
“Score!”
“So do you come here often?”
“Come to think of it … I guess not.”
“You know, you have a really nice smile.”
“I’m on it!”

Now we have to make Ashley like us again. Talk to Ashley, tell her
“Hey, I’m really sorry that I untied your top…”
“I know it was. It was really immature of me. can I make it up to you?”
“See you later, Ashley!”

Head to the master bathroom and take the blue hair dye from the sink counter. Then head to the garden, more specifically to the flower bed, where there will be a single big, pink flower. Interact with the flower and choose [Use with…] and [Blue hair dye]. Then click the flower and choose [Pick]. Give the blue flower to Ashley, tell her
“Score!”

Talk to Derek, tell him
“I’m almost there with Ashley, you got any more info I can use to gain some ground with her?”
“Later Derek.”

Talk to Frank, tell him
“Umm. Hey rank. You… Um… ::Gulp:: Got any pot?”
“Wait, so you won’t let anybody drink, but you’re completely ok with drugs?”
“You never cease to amaze me Fran. Ok, how much?”
“Understood. Thanks Frank.”

Talk to Derek, tell him
“Hey dude, do you know where I can score $50.00?”
“Later Derek.”

Approach Stephanie and give her [Merlot]. Tell her
“No sweat!”
Give her [Chardonnay] (if you didn’t pick it up already, it’s in the utility closet in the laundry room, top shelf). Tell her
“Maybe you should go a little easy … Ah nevermind.”
Head to the thermostat next to the garage door, click it and choose [Tamper] to turn up the heat. Talk to Stephanie, tell her
“So what do you say you liven up this party even more and dance topless?”
“I support this endeavor.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So uh… Do you want some help with that horniness?”
“Um. Well for you, I’ll offer a discount. $50.00”
“I don’t know whetther to feel bad or good about this…”

Use the [Y] menu to remove all your clothes. Stephanie will talk to you, tell her
“Happy to oblige!”
Click her and select
“F***”
Tell her
“I guess I didn’t expect it to be that easy…”
You have to eat Stephanie out. You achieve this by wiggling the mouse. Once you’re done, tell her
“So can I get that $50 now?”
“I also do weddings and bar mitzvahs.”
Now, remember to put your clothes on before you proceed, so you don’t have to deal with everybody’s reactions to your nakedness.

Approach Frank and give him [Fifty dollars]. Tell him
“Uh. Thanks Frank! Pleasure doing business!”

Head to the office and take the sheet of paper from the desk. Open your inventory, find the marijuana. Click it and choose [Use with…] and [Paper]. A message telling you “Joint was added to your inventory” will appear on the screen.

Head to the firepit, click it and choose [Use with…] and [Joint] to light the joint.
Now approach Ashley and give her [Lit joint]. Tell her
“F*** yeah!”

Talk to Vickie, tell her
“I did it! Ashley says we’re square!”
“Lead the way!”

Follow Vickie to the hot tub, take your clothes off and sit down. Make sure Ashley or any other girl you’re trying to get romantically involved with isn’t nearby, as they will get upset about what happens next if they see it.

Talk to Vickie, tell her
“Wow, those really were the outlines of nipple rings under your shirt!”
“Ok, I’m ready for the next part of my training!”
“I submit to your tests … For science.”
“That’s not fair! You’re like some kind of wizard with your hands!”
“How do you propose I do that?”
“I’ll check back with you later.”
An on-screen thought bubble will advice you to talk to Derek, and it even reminds you to put on clothes first.

Talk to Derek, tell him
“I need to figure out how to increase my endurance so I don’t c** too quickly.”
“Come on Derek. It’s important. It’s for science?”
“Thanks Derek!”

Vickie – part 2

Now we have to get ahold of the liqour in the liqour cabinet without being murdered by Frank. Talk to Katherine, tell her
“I notice you keep looking at your phone. Is everything ok?”
“Who would ever be a d*** to you, ever?”
“I could use a drink. Want me to grab you one?”
“Cool, I’ll see what I can do.”

Take the SD card from the office, then head to Madison’s room and take the camera from the vanity. Open your inventory, click the SD card and chose [Use with …] and [Camera].

Talk to Frank, tell him
“So you’re just gonna sit here and guard all the alcohol, huh?”
“What do you think about Katherine?”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank.”

Talk to Katherine, tell her
“Frank’s guarding all of the alcohol.”
“I think Frank has a crush on you.”
“Always a pleasure, Katherine.”

Talk to Frank, tell him
“Hey I’ve been chatting it up with Katherine. Want me to put in a good word for you?”
“Sounds like a deal! I’m in!”

Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“So Frank says I can grab some booze if I get a topless pic of you.”
“F*** me. Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

Head to the garage and take the cell phone jammer. Then head to wherever Katherine is, open your inventory, find the cell phone jammer and choose [Turn on]. Now follow Katherine around until she enters either the master bedroom, the art room, Ashley’s room or the garage. Once she enters one of these rooms, open your inventory again, select the cell phone jammer and choose [Turn off].

If someone walks in during the upcoming photoshoot with Katherine, she will get dressed again and you’ll have to start the conversation from the top. There is one way around this: if someone walks in while she’s waiting for you to pick a conversation option, simply don’t answer her until the intruder leaves. This isn’t 100% fail proof, but it works most of the time.

Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“So how about taking that topless pic for me now?”
“Hot d***!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“How about taking your top off?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“I don’t think that’s what Frank meant when he said ‘topless’.”
“F*** yes!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“Let’s try a pose.”
Talk to her again, pick any of the three pose alternatives (it doesn’t matter which one). Once she’s posing, open your inventory, select the camera and choose [Take photo]. Click the left mouse button to take a picture (or ten), then click [Escape] to exit the photoshoot.

Head to the master bedroom and take the laxatives from a shelf in Madison’s closet. Then head to Frank and give him the camera. Tell him
“Fair enough.”
Go over to the liqour cabinet and take the rum (Granadi 12). Then open your inventory, select the laxatives and choose [Use with …] and [Rum]. Now head to the garage and take the bathroom skeleton key from the shelf. Use it to lock the door to the downstairs bathroom from the outside.

Head to Katherine and give her the tampered rum. Tell her
“Enjoy!”
Now all we have to do is wait. Kathrine will walk downstairs and stand in front of the glass sliding door, tell her
“You okay?”
Then she’ll walk outside and stand by the hedges (to the left when exiting the glass sliding door), before finally coming inside to use the bathroom. Once she starts talking, click
“This is gonna get ugly!”
“*listen*”
“Go dude, go!”
“*continue*

Quickly approach passed out Frank, click him and choose [Loot]. Talk to him, tell him
“You okay, Frank?”
“Frank, I think that door f***ed you up.”
“So, lazer Frank, do you think I could get some of that booze?”
“Thanks dude!”

Head to the liqour cabinet and pick up everything (you can’t pick up the beers).

Now head to any bathroom (that isn’t occupied by Katherine). Use [P] and [1] to unleash a load. An on-screen thought bubble informs you that you need more alcohol and more practice. Open your inventory and drink an alcoholic beverage, then touch yourself. Repeat this process until the on-screen pop-up tells you you’re ready. Make sure not to overdo it on the alcohol front, otherwise you’ll be useless.

Head to the hot tub. Remember to put your equipment away before leaving the bathroom (I didn’t. Oopsie). Hold on to your stomach contents as the screen sways worse than a boat in a storm. Enter the hot tub, take off your clothes, and sit down.

Talk to Vickie, tell her
“Go ahead and test me again …”
“Well actually, I actually needed a little help. I couldn’t take him out alone.”
“F*** here we go with another quest …”
“Oh … Well okay then …”
Click Vickie and select [Remove panties]. Click Vickie again and choose [F***]. Once you’re done, tell her
“F***ing yeah!”

The achievement will unlock at this point. Congratulations!

Note: There is an alternate path to beating up Frank, which involves teaming up with Derek and Patrick. That path makes more sense with dialogue options later in the game. I found that way to be more time-consuming than the one listed above, so I haven’t included it. If you’d like a guide to this alternate path, let me know.

The muse: Madison – part 1 – v

“Show off your artistic skills and ruin a friendship to get a reward from Madison!”

This achievement requires you to impress Madison with your artistic skills, part-take in act painting and ruin your friendship with Derek to earn Madison’s favor. This is one of the lenghtier, more time-consuming achievements, so stay strong.

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Thanks for letting me come!”
“Ah. So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely.”

Head upstairs to the master bedroom, enter the master bathroom and take the phone off the counter. Check out the art studio (first door on the right when exiting master bedroom) and inspect the owl painting.

Head back to Madison, give her “Madison’s phone”. Talk to her, tell her
“So is that your art studio upstairs?”
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So is there a reward for returning your phone? I feel like maybe a kiss or something is in order.”
“Hells to the yeah Mads! I’m your guy! How do we get started?”
“Got it!”
We’re not going to complete this opportunity, we just want to make friends with her.

Once you’ve got Madison up to “Good friends” on the friend meter, talk to her and tell her
“So can we talk about your art studio now?”
“Wow, you’re so individualistic!”
“Please don’t turn me into a skin lamp …”
“I volunteer as tribute.”
*continue*
“Derek, what the f***?”
“F***, where’s my popco-go on …”
“No, it’s gotta be me!”
“Sounds great!”
“Somebody get this guy a beggin’ strip! Shut ut already Derek!”
“I’m on it!”
Talk to Madison again, tell her
“Can you give me any clues into what kind of art you’d like to see?”
“Right …”

Talk to Amy, tell her
“Hey Amy. It’s nice to meet you!”
“Hey, do you know anything about art?”
“Wow … Okay. Well, I need to make a sculpture.”
“Penguin?! I call dibs!”
“Okay Mr. Penguin, here I come!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“So what’s up with that penguin in the garage?”
“You mind if I take it?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”

Head to the family room (where Stephanie is dancing) and get the foam finger from behind one of the speakers. Make sure to pick up the “Mysterious key” from the mantel. Now head into the garage and take the penguin. Then head upstairs to Ashley’s room and take part of the whale poster from the wall, as well as the pink d**** from under her pillow.

Note: If you want to complete the achievement called “Rule 34”, this is a good time to do it. It won’t ruin your chances to complete “The muse”. Check out the “Rule 34” section for details.

Head to Madison’s bedroom, click the dresser under the TV and choose [Use with …] and [Dusty penguin]. Then click the penguin and choose [Use with …] and [Ripped whale poster], [Foam finger] and [A d****], all in turn.

Now talk to Madison, tell her
“I’m ready to show you my creation.”
“You’ve got to come to the bedroom with me.”
Note that you have to tell her this even if you’re both already in her bedroom.
“Jeez.”
Now go stand next to your creation.

Frank, Derek, Ashley, Patrick and Amy will all join you in the master bedroom, and Madison will start talking to you. If she starts talking to you before people have entered the room, it doesn’t matter. They’ll make their comments even if they’ve never seen your artwork. Tell her
“Um, yes.”
“*nod knowingly*”
“That’s exactly right.”

Now people around the room will make comments, just click whatever response pops up on the screen to move on with the dialogue.
“Um, thanks Ashley!”
“Wow … Terrific feedback. Thanks Frank!”
“Yeah … I feel the same, thanks Amy.”
“Thanks Pat! What do you think, Derek?”
Finally Derek intervenes, tell him
“Chill out man!”
“Yeah, whatchu got?”
“Sooo …”
“…”
Everybody laughs at Derek. Madison starts talking to him, click
“*continue*”
“…”
“*continue*”
“No!”
“You definitely can.”
“You got it!”

Talk to Patrick, tell him
“Pat, come with me.”
“Cool, follow me.”
Head downstairs to where Stephanie is, Patrick will follow you. When he talks to you, tell him
“See you dude.”

The guide continues under “The Muse: Madison – part 2” below.

The muse: Madison – part 2

This is the continuation of “The Muse: Madison – part 1” above.

You’ll hear a lock clicking. Head back to the master bedroom. Talk to Derek, tell him
“Where’s Madison?”
“What’s gotten into you, man?”
“Those pills cannot be good for you.”
“Uhh, d*** dude. Fine.”

Find Amy, tell her
“Hey Amy, you close enough with Derek to know what might be up his ♥♥♥ right now?”
“Purga … What?”
“Thanks Amy.”

Head to Stephanie, tell her
“Steph, earlier tonight did Derek break down and talk to you baout a cat or something?”
“Alright thanks, later Steph.”

Head over to the dresser in the corner of the family room (where Stephanie is dancing) and
interact with the cat picture. A voice recorder will be added to your inventory. Enter your inventory, click the Voice recorder and click [Play]. Listen to what’s on the voice recorder, then click “*End*”. Click the voice recorder again, this time choosing [Loop].

Head to the art studio, click the window and choose [Use with …] and [Voice recoder]. Derek will hear the recording and start looking for his cat. Click
“*end*”
“*Continue*”
“*Continue*”
“*Continue*”
At this point the game will prompt you to make sure the art room window is locked. You’ll also see Derek outside the window. You have a rather short window of opportunity (pun not intended) to lock the window, so make sure to do it as soon as you see Derek out on the roof. Click
“Heh, sorry dude.”
“Ummm … Nah. I’m gonna need you to keep quiet, Derek.”
“Maybe in a bit but only if yo… Wuiet! Madison’s coming!”
Madison will have come into the room at this point, most likely standing uncomfortably close to you. Click
“Yep, sure am!”
“A … What animal?”
“Hell yes I am!”
“Ye shall looketh upon my thingerind thickness and rejoice!”
“Loud and clear.”
Now bring up the [Y] menu and take all your clothes off. If you stall, Madison will talk to you about a few random things, eventually telling you to hurry up. Once you’re naked, click
“Right, we’re professionals.”
“Roger that!”
“Uh… What the f***?”
“Right, I understand.”
“My body is ready.”
Now we need to select the right poses and talk to Madison as she paints. Click
“*Lay down … Majestically*”
“What’s that mean?”
“You mean you’re not painting me?”
“But …”
“*Kneel … With dignity”
“Why did I have to be naked for this?!”
“Flawless logic, Mads.”
“What galleries would want a sky animal?”
“That was an awfully wordy way of saying “Some guy’s gonna jerk off on them”.”
“Finally!”
Now we have to touch ourselves, but we have to make sure not to unload. The key is to start and stop. Click [1] to get started. If you stall, Madison will prompt you to continue. Click
*ignore him*
…*fap fap fap intensifies*…
“Here I ♥♥♥, ready or … Yeah … You’re ready. Erm lemme put this down …”
Talk to Madison, click
“I’m a penguin?”
“So … You think I have a big c***?”
“Ready for the most important meal of the day?”
“Hell yeah, I’m ready to get all Jackson Pollock up over yo-”
“*snicker*”
“You got it.”
“What?”
“Why would I turn down s**?”
“She just invited me into her room, friendo …”
“We’ll see.”
“I’ll think about it.”

Note: If you want to complete “The muse: Derek”, you should save at this point. That way you won’t have to go through all the above once more. Find details about this achievement in the “The Muse: Derek” section.

Let’s continue with “The Muse: Madison”. Click [Y] and put on your shirt and pants. Walk to the master bedroom. When Madison talks to you, click
“You got it!”
If you try to talk to Madison at this point, the screen will tell you “Madison bites her lip and gazes poutily at you”. Close the door and lock it. Madison will talk to you again, click
“Yeah …?”
“I’ll assume you don’t mind if I cut the ribbon on this exhibit …”
Now click [Y] once again and take off your shirt, pants and boxers. Click Madison and select [F***]. If you click her during the act you can change positions. Once you’re done, click
“Yeah sounds good … Let me just cover up the ol’ penguing … No, I’m not saying that.”

A pop-up on the screen will tell you the achievement has been unlocked. Congratulations!

Important note: This achievement didn’t pop while I was in-game. I had to exit Steam, restart it, and then the achievement was in my collection.

The Muse: Derek – v

“Take the high road by not sleeping with Madison and experience the wonders of friendship with Derek.”

This achievement requires you to impress Madison with your artistic skills, part-take in act painting, and then reject Madison because you value your friendship with Derek more. This is one of the lenghtier, more time-consuming achievements, so stay strong.

This achievement follows the exact same steps as “The Muse: Madison”, so follow that guide (found under the sections “The Muse: Madison – part 1” and “The Muse: Madison – part 2” up until the point where it says “Note: If you want to complete “The muse: Derek”…”. Then come back here.

Let’s show the world just how good of a friend we are. Talk to Madison, click
“I’m a penguin?”
“So … You think I have a big c***?”
“Ready for the most important meal of the day?”
“Hell yeah, I’m ready to get all Jackson Pollock up over yo-”
“*snicker*”
“You got it.”
“What?”
“Why would I turn down s**?”
“She just invited me into her room, friendo …”
“We’ll see.”
“I said I’ll think about it.”

Click [Y] and put on your boxers. Head to the master bedroom. Madison will talk to you, click
“Actually Madison …”
“Honestly, I just wanted to be your model and help you complete your portfolio. Nothing more.”
“Are you mad?”
“So we’re good then?”
“Uh, alright. Sounds good.”

A pop-up on the screen will tell you the achievement has unlocked. Congratulations!

Important note: This achievement didn’t pop while I was in-game. I had to exit Steam, restart it, and then the achievement was in my collection.

Howz it goin dood – v

“Experience a magical, non-violent, artistic moment with Frank.”

This achievement requires you to end up naked in a bedroom with Frank.

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Thanks for letting me come!”
“Ah. So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely.”

Wait a little while, then talk to Madison again. If she’s telling you to come talk to her later, just wait a little while longer.

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”

Head upstairs to the master bedroom, enter the master bathroom and take the phone off the counter. Check out the art studio (first door on the right when exiting master bedroom) and inspect the owl painting.

Head back to Madison, give her “Madison’s phone”. Talk to her, tell her
“So is that your art studio upstairs?”
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So is there a reward for returning your phone? I feel like maybe a kiss or something is in order.”
“Hells to the yeah Mads! I’m your guy! How do we get started?”
“Got it!”
We’re not going to complete this opportunity, we just want to make friends with her.

Once you’ve got Madison up to “Good friends” on the friend meter, talk to her and tell her
“So can we talk about your art studio now?”
“Wow, you’re so individualistic!”
“Please don’t turn me into a skin lamp …”
“I volunteer as tribute.”
*continue*
“Derek, what the f***?”
“F***, where’s my popco-go on …”
“No, it’s gotta be me!”
“Sounds great!”
“Somebody get this guy a beggin’ strip! Shut ut already Derek!”
“I’m on it!”
Talk to Madison again, tell her
“Can you give me any clues into what kind of art you’d like to see?”
“Right …”

Talk to Amy, tell her
Hey Amy. It’s nice to meet you!”
“Hey, do you know anything about art?”
“Wow … Okay. Well, I need to make a sculpture.”
“Penguin?! I call dibs!”
“Okay Mr. Penguin, here I come!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“So what’s up with that penguin in the garage?”
“You mind if I take it?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”

Head to the family room (where Stephanie is dancing) and get the foam finger from behind one of the speakers. Now head into the garage and take the penguin. Then head upstairs to Ashley’s room and take part of the whale poster from the wall, as well as the pink d**** from under her pillow.

Head to Madison’s bedroom, click the dresser under the TV and choose [Use with …] and [Dusty penguin]. Then click the penguin and choose [Use with …] and [Ripped whale poster], [Foam finger] and [A d****], all in turn.

Now talk to Madison, tell her
“I’m ready to show you my creation.”
“You’ve got to come to the bedroom with me.”
Note that you have to tell her this even if you’re both already in her bedroom.
“Jeez.”
Now go stand next to your creation.

Frank, Derek, Ashley, Patrick and Amy will all join you in the master bedroom, and Madison will start talking to you. Tell her
“Um, yes.”
“*not knowingly*”
“That’s exactly right.”

Now people around the room will make comments, just click whatever response pops up on the screen to move on with the dialogue. Finally Derek intervenes, tell him
“Chill out man!”
“Yeah, whatchu got?”
“Sooo …”
“…”
Everybody laughs at Derek. Madison starts talking to him, click
“*continue*”
“…”
“*continue*”
“No!”
“You definitely can.”
“You got it!”

Talk to Patrick, tell him
“Pat, come with me.”
“Cool, follow me.”
Head downstairs to where Stephanie is, Patrick will follow you. When he talks to you, tell him
“See you dude.”

You’ll hear a lock clicking. Head back to the master bedroom. Talk to Derek, tell him
“Where’s Madison?”
“What’s gotten into you, man?”
“Those pills cannot be good for you.”
“Uhh, d*** dude. Fine.”

Talk to Derek three times. He will tell you to get lost all three times, but on the third try Madison will talk to you through the bathroom door, asking you to get her out. Click
“*Continue*”
Now comes one of the most idiotic parts of the game. Derek will tell us, right outside the bathroom door, that we have to say mean things about Madison if we want him to release her. For some reason Madison can hear us say the mean things, but she didn’t hear Derek encourage us to do so … Nice selective hearing, Madison … Anyway. Tell Derek
“Tell me.”
“Alright alright, I admit it!”
“Psshh, I’m standing firm. Madison will totes understand!”

If you wait a minute, Madison will come out of the bathroom and talk to you. Tell her
“Oh, well, they were all complimentary anyway!”
“Relax and wait for my moment in the spotlight? I’m your guy!”
“See you soon!”

The screen will go black, and when we come to, Frank is naked in the room with us. Tell him
“Frank! What are you doing here?!”
“F*** no! I’m getting painted!”
“Ahhh s***! I gotta run, bye Frank!”
Now you have to run away from Frank before he hits you. When he talks to you, tell him
“Phew, thanks Frank … I think.”

Important note: This achievement didn’t pop while I was in-game. I had to exit Steam, restart it, and then the achievement was in my collection.

Rule 34 – v

“Yeah, I mean … You can. But why would you?”

This achievement requires you to do some ungodly things to a plastic penguin.

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Thanks for letting me come!”
“Ah. So I’m a total afterthought?”
“You’re doing fine!”
“It’s how bakers keep score!”
“Yeah, most definitely.”

Wait a little while, then talk to Madison again. If she’s telling you to come talk to her later, just wait a little while longer.

Talk to Madison, tell her
“Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”

Head upstairs to the master bedroom, enter the master bathroom and take the phone off the counter. As you approach the door to leave the master bedroom, pick up the Natty Lite on the shelf to your right. Check out the art studio (first door on the right when exiting master bedroom) and inspect the owl painting.

Head back to Madison, give her “Madison’s phone”. Talk to her, tell her
“So is that your art studio upstairs?”
“I’ll check you later, Mads.”
Talk to her again, tell her
“So is there a reward for finding your phone?”
“Hells to the yeah Mads! I’m your guy! How do we get started?”
“Got it!”
We’re not going to complete this opportunity, we just want to make friends with her.

Once you’ve got Madison up to “Good friends” on the friend meter, talk to her and tell her
“So can we talk about your art studio now?”
“Wow, you’re so individualistic!”
“Please don’t turn me into a skin lamp …”
“I volunteer as tribute.”
*continue*
“Derek, what the f***?”
“F***, where’s my popco-go on …”
“No, it’s gotta be me!”
“Sounds great!”
“Somebody get this guy a beggin’ strip! Shut ut already Derek!”
“I’m on it!”
Talk to Madison again, tell her
“Can you give me any clues into what kind of art you’d like to see?”
“Right …”

Talk to Amy, tell her
Hey Amy. It’s nice to meet you!”
“Hey, do you know anything about art?”
“Wow … Okay. Well, I need to make a sculpture.”
“Penguin?! I call dibs!”

Talk to Ashley, tell her
“So what’s up with that penguin in the garage?”
“You mind if I take it?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”

Head to the garage. Make sure you’re alone in there, and be sure to close the door. Now click [P] to whip out your equipment. Click the penguin and choose [Insert …]. The opportunity completes. Once you want to remove the penguin, simply click it and choose [Take]. You can then click it in your inventory and choose [Set free] if you don’t want to carry it around anymore.

Important note: This achievement didn’t pop while I was in-game. I had to exit Steam, restart it, and then the achievement was in my collection.

This achievement is great to pair with “The Muse: Madison” or “Howz It Goin Dood?”, because both achievements can be carried out after having done all of the above.

Relentless – v

“Outside of “Derek Smash!”, get Patrick beaten up 5 times in one playthrough.”

This achievement requires you to get Frank to beat up Patrick five times in one play-through. This one is easy, all it takes is a little bit of patience.

Head over to Frank, click him and choose [Talk], then
“I’m completely sober!”
“I’m going to go drink some orange juice. Talk to you later Frank”

Find Patrick, click him and choose [Talk], click
“What can I do to help?” and
“I’ll keep an eye out”. Click Patrick again right away, choose [Talk} again and click
“You should watch out for Frank”
“How the hell do you even have a bottle of wine with Frank around?” and finally
“I think I’ll pass on putting anything that’s been down you pants in my muth. Thanks though” to end the interaction.

Find Frank again. Make sure Patrick isn’t in the same room as him – preferably he should be upstairs or outside. Click Frank and choose [Talk], then
“Patrick’s got a bottle of wine! He’s been shoving it down his pants to hide it from you!” and
“I’ll get the popcorn!” to end the interaction. Follow Frank and watch as he beats Patrick up. Now just wait until Patrick comes to.

Once Patrick is back on his feet, head to Frank and tell him
“Patrick called you an a**-licking fart monkey!”
Frank will then proceed to give Patrick a whooping once again.

Now just repeat that last step until the opportunity unlocks, also unlocking the achievement.

Important note: This achievement didn’t pop while I was in-game. I had to exit Steam, restart it, and then the achievement was in my collection.

Do you smell blood? – v

“Give Frank a concussion, then take advantage of the situation and free the booze!”

This achievement requires you to get Frank into an altered state, making him a much more pleasant party guest.

The achievement follows the same path as the “Katherine” achievement for a long while, but takes a different path at a certain point.

Start by starting a new game. Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose”
“I notice you keep looking at your phone. Is everything ok?”
“Who would ever be a d*** to you, ever?”
“I could use a drink. Want me to grab you one?”
“Cool, I’ll see what I can do”
Talk to Kathrine again, ask her
“What kind of drinks do you like?”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Now we know Kathrine will only accept rum … Which Frank has locked up in a cupboard … Convenient.

Talk to Frank, tell him
“So you’re just gonna sit here and guard all the alcohol, huh?”
“What do you think about Kathrine?”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”

Talk to Kathrine again, tell her
“I think Frank has a crush on you”
“Frank’s guarding all of the alcohol”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”

Now talk to Frank again, tell him
“Hey I’ve been chatting up with Kathrine. Want me to put in a good word for you?”
“Sounds like a deal! I’m in”

Talk to Kathrine once more, tell her
“So Frank says I can grab some booze if I get a topless pic of you”
“F*** me. Okay, I’ll see what I can do”

Let’s do some preparations for later. First, head to the garage and pick up the cell phone jammer from the counter. Go to the family room and pick up the Mysterious key from the mantle. Now go upstrais to Madison’s bedroom and take the camera from her vanity. Make sure she’s not in the room when you do this. Lastly, head to the office and pick up the SD card from the desk. Open you inventory with the I button, find the SD card, click it and choose [Use with …] [Camera].

Now head back to Kathrine, open your inventory, find the cellphone jammer, click it and choose [Turn on]. Follow Kathrine around as she complains about the bad service. Eventually you will get her in a room alone, usually the art room or Ashley’s room. This might take some time because her path seems to be random. As soon as the two of you are alone in a room, open your inventory again, click the cellphone jammer and choose [Turn off].

Now we got Kathrine all to ourselves. Note that If you get interrupted by any of the other characters throughout the photoshoot, Kathrine will put her clothes back on and you have to start from scratch. The exception is if you are in a dialogue with her when they walk in – in that case you can simply wait to answer until the charather walks out again. Now talk to her and tell her
“So how about taking that topless pic for me now?”
“Hot damn!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“How about taking your top off?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“I don’t think this is what Frank meant when he said “topless”
Talk to her once more, tell her
“Let’s try a pose”
You can choose any pose you like, it doesn’t affect the outcome. Now open your inventory, click the camera and choose [Take photo]. You take photos by clicking the left mouse button. You only have to take one photo for Frank to be happy, but you can take as many as you like. Enjoy yourself. Once you’re done, click [Escape] to exit camera mode.

Go to Frank once again, click him and choose [Give] and [Camera]. Tell him
“Fair enough”
Head over to the cabinet next to him, open it and pick up the rum. It’s the Granadi 12 on the bottom shelf.

This is where the achievement breaks off from the traditional “Katherine” path.

Head to the garage and pick up the “Bathroom skeleton key”. Then head to the master bedroom, enter the closet, and pick up the laxatives from the shelf to your right. Open your inventory, find the laxatives and choose [Use with …] and [Rum]. Now you have the tampered rum. The next step is to lock the three bathroom doors (downstairs bathroom, upstairs bathroom and master bathroom). Once you’ve locked all the bathroom doors, find Katherine and give her the tampered rum.

After a little while, Kathrine won’t be feeling so good. She will run outside, and then she will run to the downstairs bathroom, only to find the door locked. She asks Frank to open the door for her. Click
“*listen*”
“Go dude, go!”
Frank has now headbutted the door, which made pass out. Click Frank and choose [Slap awake]. Once he’s awake, talk to him and tell him
“You okay, Frank?”
“Frank, I think that door f***ed you up.”
“So, lazer Frank, do you think I could get some of that booze?!”
“Thanks dude!”

At this point the achievement will unlock. Although the description of the achievement tells us to free the booze, this doesn’t seem to be an actual requirement. Congratulations!

Note: This special dialogue which comes from Frank having a concussion is only available for about 300 seconds (according to Erasmus), so be sure to act fast. Also, after this interaction with Frank, the liqour cabinet is free-for-all for as long as his concussion lasts, so be sure to take advantage of that.

Caught in the act

“Get caught by another character in the middle of some sexy time!”

This achievement requires you to get caught in the act, meaning you have to get caught while getting it on with someone.

Note: I won’t make a video guide for this achievement.

There is a wide variety of ways to get this achievement, and I have tried to list all of them below. This isn’t a guide to how to get to all the different scenarios, just a list of ways this achievement can unlock. If you would like such a guide, please let me know.

Option 1

Let Frank flush himself out of your system. When you do this, you might get caught by other characters, if they are close enough. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep asking him to help with the flushing.

Option 2

Go down on Stephanie in the family room. She’s not shy, so I’m sure someone will notice you.

Option 3

When the living room is empty except for Frank and Ashley, make Frank leave and ask Ashley to go down on you. Frank will return eventually, catching you with your pants down.

Option 4

When the living room is empty except for Frank and Madison, make Frank leave and ask Madison to go down on you. Frank will return eventually.

Option 5

When any doable NPC (Madison and Ashley are the best options) is in the art room, ask them to go down on you. NPCs walk in regularly.

Option 6

When any doable NPC (Madison and Ashley are the best options) are in the master bedroom, ask them to go down on you. NPCs will walk in regularly.

Option 7

When any doable NPC (Madison and Ashley are the best options) are in the upstairs hallway, ask them to go down on you. NPCs will walk by regularly.

Option 8

Have sex with Vickie in the pool, you might get caught.

Option 9

After pursuing Ashely and unlocking the “I want to see your room” option, tell her you want to see her room, then tell Madison Ashley wants to see her. Then go get down and dirty with Ashley. Madison will walk in soon after.

If you know of more ways to get this achievement, please let me know so I can list them.

Party Pooper – v

“Experience a better life through chemistry, and shed six pounds at the same time! Thanks Laxapas!”

This is a quick little achievement which requires you to drink some tampered rum and suffer the consequences.

Start by starting a new game. Talk to Kathrine, tell her
“I feel like we use the word “need” outside of its intended purpose”
“I notice you keep looking at your phone. Is everything ok?”
“Who would ever be a d*** to you, ever?”
“I could use a drink. Want me to grab you one?”
“Cool, I’ll see what I can do”
Talk to Kathrine again, ask her
“What kind of drinks do you like?”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”
Now we know Kathrine will only accept rum … Which Frank has locked up in a cupboard … Convenient.

Talk to Frank, tell him
“I’m completely sober!”
“So you’re just gonna sit here and guard all the alcohol, huh?”
“What do you think about Kathrine?”
“I’m gonna go drink some orange juice. See you later, Frank”

Talk to Kathrine again, tell her
“I think Frank has a crush on you”
“Frank’s guarding all of the alcohol”
“Always a pleasure, Kathrine”

Now talk to Frank again, tell him
“Hey I’ve been chatting up with Kathrine. Want me to put in a good word for you?”
“Sounds like a deal! I’m in”

Talk to Kathrine once more, tell her
“So Frank says I can grab some booze if I get a topless pic of you”
“F*** me. Okay, I’ll see what I can do”

Let’s do some preparations for later. First, head to the garage and pick up the cell phone jammer from the counter. Now go upstrais to Madison’s bedroom and take the camera from her vanity. Make sure she’s not in the room when you do this. Open Madison’s closet and take the laxatives from the shelf on your right just inside the door. Lastly, head to the office and pick up the SD card from the desk. Open you inventory with the I button, find the SD card, click it and choose [Use with …] [Camera].

Now head back to Kathrine, open your inventory, find the cellphone jammer, click it and choose [Turn on]. Follow Kathrine around as she complains about the bad service. Eventually you will get her in a room alone, usually the art room or Ashley’s room. This might take some time because her path seems to be random. As soon as the two of you are alone in a room, open your inventory again, click the cellphone jammer and choose [Turn off].

Now we got Kathrine all to ourselves. Note that If you get interrupted by any of the other characters throughout the photoshoot, Kathrine will put her clothes back on and you have to start from scratch. The exception is if you are in a dialogue with her when they walk in – in that case you can simply wait to answer until the charather walks out again. Now talk to her and tell her
“So how about taking that topless pic for me now?”
“Hot damn!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“How about taking your top off?”
Talk to her again, tell her
“I don’t think this is what Frank meant when he said “topless”
Talk to her once more, tell her
“Let’s try a pose”
You can choose any pose you like, it doesn’t affect the outcome. Now open your inventory, click the camera and choose [Take photo]. You take photos by clicking the left mouse button. You only have to take one photo for Frank to be happy, but you can take as many as you like. Enjoy yourself. Once you’re done, click [Escape] to exit camera mode.

Go to Frank once again, click him and choose [Give] and [Camera]. Tell him
“Fair enough”
Head over to the cabinet next to him, open it and pick up the rum. It’s the Granadi 12 on the bottom shelf.

Open your inventory, find the laxatives and click [Use with…] and [Rum]. Then open your inventory again, find the tampered rum and choose [Drink]. Enjoy what happens next, and the achievement will unlock. Congratulations!

Note: Completing this achievement always leads to a game over, so you can’t do anything else after you complete this.

ALTERNATE PATH

You also can grab the mysterious key from the fireplace, get the laxatives from Madison’s closet, then get Frank to beat up Patrick, grab the rum while he’s at it, then run to the closets bathroom and lock yourself in. Drink the tampered rum and enjoy the fun.

The Brahdyssay – v

“Politely listen to all of Patrick’s epic back-story.”

This achievement is easy and fairly quick to unlock, all you need is a little bit of patience.

Start by starting a new game. Go straight ahead out to the garden, then turn right and right again to turn the corner of the house. Patrick is there, wait for Rachael to arrive. You’ll overhear a conversation.

Click
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
Rachael will slap Patrick and walk away. Talk to Patrick, tell him
“You got the s*** slapped out of you! What was that about?”
“What’s the problem with you two?”
“Hmm … Maybe I could help you out.”
“You’re wrong on all counts. But I’ll help you out.”

Head to the master bathroom and take the painkillers from the shelf behind the door. Return to Patrick and give him the painkillers. Tell him
“See you around Patrick.”

Talk to Patrick again, tell him
“So maybe it’s time to tell me what’s up with you and Rachael?”
“I’ve got nothing but time, friend.”
“*strap in*”
“Ooooh boy … Okay, I’m listening.”
“Off to a strong start. Continue …”
“Wow. Tubes. What a brah indeed.”
“Uh huh, go on …”
“What did the-”
“Wow, okay. You really know your audience. Continue …”
“Not surprised, for multiple reason. Truly amazing, Patrick.”
“So did you ever learn to um … Read, and other basic stuff?”
“I … Could see Rachael being offended by that. Is that her beef with you?”
“Let’s just say I haven’t.”
“I can see where this is going …”
“And Rachael’s on the site, I’m guessing?”
“So what does she want from you, in terms of the site?”
“Okay, I’m listening …”

Now you have to make a choice; do you want to help Patrick or not?

“It means to bribe them.”
“Do you mean … A judge?”
“Riiiiight.”
“You sure that’s gonna work?”
“Buuutttt …”

Once again you have to make a choice; help Patrick or not?

“Alright, I guess.”
“Will do!”

Once the conversation ends, the achievement prompt will pop on the screen and the achievement will be unlocked. Congratulations!

I’ll be back – v

“Unlock Compubrah, learn about Patrick’s businesses, and maybe, just maybe, stop a Skynet situation from playing out.”

Achievement length: long.

Follow the directions in either “A striking resemblance” or “Benedict Brah…” to obtain the briefcase and key.

Once you have the briefcase open, find it in your inventory, click it and choose [Poke b***]. Tell the briefcase
“Commands!”
“Business!”
“*list all Donghauser Industries businesses and their subsidiaries*”
“*next entry*”
“*next entry*”
“*next entry*”
“How do I update you to value human life more than a f***ing flower?”

Once the conversation ends, the achievement prompt will pop up on the screen. Congratulations!

If at first you don’t succeed – v

“Throw a d**** at it. Obviously. Do we have to tell you everything?”

Achievement length: very short.

Start by starting a new game. Head up the stairs, then turn around to look at the lamp above the staircase. You’ll notice something is hanging from it. If you walk close enough, you can click the MP3 player and choose “Reach for”. You will fall down and the achievement prompt will show up on the screen. Congratulations!

Benedict Brahrnold – v

“Give Patrick Rachael’s “Death Mix”, and do what it takes to shut down his site!”

Achievement length: long.

Start by starting a new game. Find Patrick and stay close to him, then wait until Rachael approaches. Click
“*listen*”
“*listen*”
Rachael will slap Patrick and walk away. Approach Patrick, tell him
“You got the s*** slapped out if you. What was that about?”
“What’s the problem with you two?”
“Hmm … Maybe I could help you out.”
“You’re wrong on all counts. But I’ll help you out.”

Talk to Patrick, tell him
“So maybe it’s time to tell me what’s up with you and Rachael?”
“I’ve got nothing but time, friend.”
“*strap in*”
“Ooooh boy … Okay, I’m listening.”
“Off to a strong start. Continue …”
“Wow. Tubes. What a brah indeed.”
“Uh huh, go on …”
“What did the-”
“Wow, okay. You really know your audience. Continue …”
“Not surprised, for multiple reason. Truly amazing, Patrick.”
“So did you ever learn to um … Read, and other basic stuff?”
“I … Could see Rachael being offended by that. Is that her beef with you?”
“Let’s just say I haven’t.”
“I can see where this is going …”
“And Rachael’s on the site, I’m guessing?”
“So what does she want from you, in terms of the site?”
“Okay, I’m listening …”

Head to the master bathroom and pick up the painkillers from the shelf behind the door. Return to Patrick and give him the painkillers. Tell him
“See you around Patrick.”

Talk to Rachael, tell her
“It’s cool, but why’d you go all Jerry Springer on him?”
“Nope and nope.”
“Sure, good luck with that.”
Talk to Rachael again, tell her
“So what’s up? Are you enjoying yourself at the party?”
“Let me talk to him. I can figure this misunderstanding out.”
“No sweat!”

Talk to Frank, tell him
“I’m completely sober!”
“Come on Frank, stealing from girls? This has gone way too far!”
“I could check it for you.”
“I’ll do my best Frank!”

Now you need to collect six Natty Lites from around the house. Locations of Natty Lites:

• In the family room (where Steph is dancing), behind the right speaker)
• In the garage, on the shelf furthest to the right when entering
• When entering the master bedroom, on the top shelf to your left
• In the office, under the desk (press [C] to crouch in order to reach it)
• Upstairs bathroom, behind the hamper (use [Ctrl] to bring up a virtual hand, click and hold over the hamper to pull it out of the way)
• In the living room, on the floor next to the armchair.

Once you have the beers, return to Frank and give him all of them, one at a time. When you’ve given him all six beers, talk to him and tell him
“So how about letting me sniff that thermos for you now? I promise I’ll be a fair judge.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Head over to the cabinet and open the cabinet door in front of the thermos. Click the thermos and smell it. Talk to Frank, tell him
“Hey so I gave that thermos a good sniff.”
“It’s clean. It’s filled with water. She has a really rare medical condition called ‘thirst’.”
“::whew:: Thanks Frank!”
Go back to the cabinet and take the thermos.

Find Rachael and give her the thermos. Make sure Frank and Leah aren’t around when you do this. Tell Rachael
“Frank doesn’t scare me. have you seen my biceps?”
“Sounds like a plan!”
Talk to her again, tell her
“Hey, any other ideas how to make this party less lame-a**?”
“The only thing that could make this party better is if Patrick wasn’t here.”
“Yeah, Patrick can wait. So, different music would take your mind off him?”
“Nope, this is a first.”
“Yeah, I’ll do some digging too. Our reality is at stake … Go team!”

Now head to Ashley’s bedroom and get the d**** from under her pillow. Then approach the lamp above the staircase, click the MP3-player and choose [Throw d****]. Head downstairs to pick up the MP3-player.

Then talk to Patrick, tell him
“I think Rachael will like this new party mix. Wadya think?”
“What’s next, you think?”
“I was definitely never ‘hired’, but ifne.”

Talk to Rachael, tell her
“Hey now, that was actually Patrick with the hook-up.”
“Ah, so environmental awareness is important to you, huh?”
“Hmm, well, thank you very much for this information… I mean education!”
“Erm, yeah, that’s basically what’s happening.”
“Hey, I’m open to hearing all options.”
“Hmm…”
“Allright, I’ll think on it. And I’ll hold onto that thermos … For now.

Give Patrick the thermos. Tell him
“It’s the least I could do for allowing me to work for zero pay defending your weird website.”
“Just make sure to drink all of it, pal. I went through a lot for this hook-up!”
“Wow. See ya Pat.”

Talk to Rachael, tell her
“No idea. Patrick says he likes to fling his belongings as soon as he enters into a party.”
“That was his MP3-player. Keep remembering.”
“Allright then, outside is where I’ll look.”
“Will do!”

Head to the art room, open the closet and take the broom. Head to the gazebo in the garden, find the briefcase on the roof, click it and choose [Use with …] [Broom].

Head to the upstairs bathroom (not master bathroom) and open the door. Click
“Uh … Rachael?”
“Do I … ugh, okay fine.”
“It looks like a c***ring. No, it’s definitely a c***ring. And there’s a key hanging from it!”
“Huh?”
“You’re right, I’m really not liking where this is headed.”
“You’re drunk Patrick. No one’s tryna break into your d***. Wait … Are we?”
“Allright, what do you need me to do?”
“Allright … Phew … Okay! Here we go!”
“*glorp glorp glorp* thx rchl! *glorp glorp glorp*”
“Jssz prrick hyy tfk rrrp!”
“Holy f-”
“Allright, I’m going for it!”
Crouch and take the keyring.

Approach Rachael and give her the key. Tell her
“Allright, lemme just catch my breath and it’s go-time!”

Open your inventory, find the key and use it with the closed briefcase. Open your inventory again to find the open briefcase. Click the briefcase and choose [Poke b***]. Then give the briefcase to Racheal and tell her
“Soooo? Did we win?”
“I’m just glad I could help the, uh, woman’s cause or whatever we were doing.”
“Uh, yep. This is my ‘total commitment’ face. Thanks Rachael!”

The achievement prompt will pop up. Congratulations!

A striking resemblance – v

“Get to the bottom of Patrick and Rachael’s drama, and help Pat win her over!”

Achievement length: long.